30 weeks pregnancy update
inner outer worlds
Pregnancy Update
30 weeks pregnant
I can feel a shift in energy this week.
Raf woke he up with a big kiss (Rather than a slap to the face, which is great, already having a good day)
And he wanted to tell me immediately about his “dreams”, which I would love to say are mystical etherial visions from his dream scapes over night…
But it’s actually his “life dreams” of buying “Toys with buttons and sounds” such as fire engines and diggers from the “Big K Shop (kmart).
“One day when we go to the big k shop, I want to get a dump truck… with buttons…. And a fire truck, with buttons. Oh and a jets - like what Blake has, with buttons, those are my dreams mum.”
I giggle at new mum me buying only wooden, non tox toys, and hoping he’ll be occupied for hours with a stick. And sometimes, that’s exactly what life looks like. Other times it’s buying a set of paw patrol because his little friend told him about the characters and now he is genuinely occupied for hours and hours and hours over the last month with them. Probably a really great $50 investment on my part. They come into the shower, into bed, eat breakfast with us.
They play hide and seek, all have their little catch phase and they are really good at working as a team, which means Rafi is also really great at working as a team when they are around haha.
The beginning of last week had me in a mild wave of anxiety at the fact we have arrived at 30 weeks pregnant.
Thirty.
I feel like I’ve missed or skipped a whole trimester in there somewhere….
I said to my birth keeper the other day that I’m mentally preparing for about 41ish weeks.
You know,
I’ve got time.
She laughed, (with endearment) and said it’s probably to be ready to go by 37 weeks… then relax.
37 weeks.
Like
6.5 weeks away.
Just longer than a moon cycle.
Ok, cool cool cool cool cool (Brooklyn 99 reference IYKYK)
However, even the last 3 days I’ve felt shifts in my body, and emotional world.
The third trimester itself feels like she’s wrapped me in transparent sheets of silk, and is slowly, slowly pulling me into a womb cave, to lay me down and gift me bodywork while I sleep type of feels.
My world is feeling slower,
Almost like I’ve tasted a joint each morning, with how surreal the world is beginning to look and feel like.
I’ve struggled with aspects of this pregnancy,
Or perhaps a better term feels like battled? Resisted? Pushed up against? And expected to feel different.
And I also feel like I’ve recently turned a corner, of a layer of trust, surrender into the abyss, and realising what looked like a version of disconnect, was actually a version of connection to something else…
Let me elaborate below….
