Baby prep right now, spirit babies, & my Motherhood challenges

Baby prep #2, Birth choices, How we named Rafi, Communication from #2, Food anxiety, night weaning, Dental problems and holistic care, & more

I always thought I’d have my children closer together. 

I guess there’s this idea that having kids close in age means their bond would be closer, 

Though when I think about my own relationship with my siblings, it didn’t matter at all. 

There’s 19 months between myself and my brother, then 3 years 9 months between my next brother and I. 

5.5 years between my sister and I, though for some reason I’ve always thought it was 7 years? 

My next brother was born 9 days after my 9th birthday, the next brother was 11 years later, 

And my youngest sister came right before I turned 15. 

I did notice a gap when I became a teenager and my siblings were still in their pre-teen/ childhood years,

Though as we’ve all gotten older we’ve only grown closer… I would say I feel more of a mother daughter energy with my youngest sister though. 

I remember wondering if I fed her if I’d start producing milk when I was 15 so I could help my mum…

I thought I’d have two under two perhaps, but It just didn’t feel right. 

Even though I had what I would personally consider, a dream birthing experience for myself with Raf, and a really nourished supported postpartum and first year, 

The thought of going again and having another baby ignited a weird anxiety within me. 

I say weird because I love being a mama and always had mama as one of the top jobs in the whole world growing up. 

Always being very maternal, so to feel resistance to another baby was very odd for me. 

However becoming a mother to Rafi humbled me in ways. 

Things I romanticised became responsibilities, and I realised the BIGNESS of a child. 

It’s big. But what I experienced as even bigger was the absolute burning down and recreation of my heart and identity. 

That maiden to mother evolution is no joke and though I leant in and enjoyed the unraveling even amidst the discomfort, 

It still felt so big energetically, and in some ways my nervous system is still recovering/adjusting/expanding. 

Below:

Two of my biggest mothering challenges so far, one which has been debilitating …

Baby prep, Mother prep, family prep for entering the next phase of family life together

My vision of my daughter

How Rafi told us his name

Freebirth or Supported homebirth for next time….

The first communication I had with Rafi when I was 18

And a few things I’m learning about holistic oral care….