Grieving platonic friendships as motherhood changes us

The maiden to mother of our intimate relationships

I was texting one of my girlfriends the other night. 

Very, very rarely can I even get back to texts quickly, let alone in a fashion of conversation, back and forward, both available at the same time, in our different time zones.

I felt myself missing her. Of course physically as she’s living overseas, 

But moreso missing her heart. Her laughter, and a lightness we used to feel together more often. 

We’ve been friends now close to 10 years. 

We met when we were first finding ourselves once high school had ended, and we were both looking for someone like minded to talk about philosophy, and alternate realities with. 

We’ve spent nights on the dance floor with alcohol unto our ears, 

We’ve spent hours laying on the ground having created crystal grids along each others bodies, or spent hours holding each other though big emotional upheavals. 

We’ve spent years cackling in laughter and being overly involved in each others lives. 

Hours and hours driving from coffee shop to coffee shop buzzing on ideas and insights. 

We’ve worked together, 

Played, 

Cried,
Laughed. 

We’ve had times where we spent time apart, and felt more disconnected, and times where we felt closer than ever before. 

We’ve moved and followed each other around the country…

One of those friendships that feels like you had planned it long before you got here, 

Just to offer medicine and learning and growth. 

We’ve grown up together. 

Though a few years ago when we began having kids, there was a big shift.