How to make friends as a mum
And be a part of a thriving ECOSYSTEM/ VILLAGE
Okay, Lets talk about making friends, and being apart of a modern day village as a mum.
It’s a topic I feel like I have a decent amount of experience and confidence in,
And a topic that’s often discussed/ questions are asked.
*disclaimer, I haven’t had a chance to edit and proof read so apologies for any typos!
I see it all the time, this discussion around the LACK of village for parents, (I would say mums but it’s honestly all parents that struggle with this.)
I don’t see (as much) the discussion around the SOLUTION of HOW to actually cultivate this for yourself.
Photo below by Bec Wood @wild.flow.her back when we were in margaret river in 2021
The Problem:
Industrial revolution happens, many men (and women) head into the workforce at full speed.
Where families may have worked more locally, they are now traveling for work.
Where people lived in more rural and country towns, they began moving into cities.
As more money entered the economy, as did higher living expenses, food, rent, etc.
Where “know your neighbour” slowly dissolved into apartment living, and suburban housing, and moving away from extended family support.
It became either one income households where one parent (and most commonly the mother) would stay at home with the kids while papa would go and gather resources to fulfil the lifestyle.
OR both parents would work, and the children would be in daycare - another expense.
The nuclear family, and the painted perfect family on the billboard (Mum, dad, girl boy kids and a dog, with the white picket fence) became an ideal.
(Of course this is not leaving much room for any form of diversity).
Western culture changed, and became patriarchal in its approach. Goal orientated (towards the house and income and good job etc)
And didn’t accomodate (as a whole) for the emotional needs and holistic approach to wellbeing.
It simply became the norm, and the standard for living within community, and truly leaning on the neighbourhood for support, became “inconvenient/ asking too much”.
The idea that “If we all can *just/barely* manage to do it on our own, you should too. This is life. Suck it up.” Became more of a thing.
Shame infiltrated families who felt like they couldn’t keep up, and there was a lot less exposure to alternative life styles because the internet wasn’t a thing yet.
We know this, because most of us, to some extent, are a product of this system.
And even if we were brought up a little differently OR if we intend to bring up our own children differently, this SYSTEM is more than an external system. It’s become INTERNAL in the ways that we think. They ways we allow ourselves to receive, the ways we still consciously or unconsciously uphold these standards of nuclear living for ourselves, and in some ways for those around us.
There are obviously some perks to this system - I mean,