Poetry / the inevitable pregnancy comparison

My first, then my second (+ updates)

With my first

The moment “I am pregnant” left my lips

It was an affirmation of

I AM pregnant, I, am now, fully overcome by pregnancy.

It was all I’d think about,

It had been all I’d wished about.

It was who I was about.

I am pregnant,

Was who I became

It melted into my lovemaking

Melted into my relationships,

Friendships,

Expectations of the future,

I am pregnant.

I BECAME pregnant.

Through every cell I felt the rupture,

The bursting open to life

And the evolution from within,

With my second baby,

The words “I am pregnant” left my lips

But felt so different,

As life moved along

So did we,

With a toddler buzzing around.

I am pregnant

Didn’t feel like an all encompassing sound.

Instead of an affirmation of I AM,

It was a reminder of my bodies wisdom,

Differently this time.

I am pregnant meant that I’m doing life

As usual

And I’m growing a whole baby

And I rarely think about it.

I am pregnant

Was a congratulations, and a sliver of anxiety at the thought of one day leaving the house alone with two…

I am pregnant was a reminder, that I was, in fact pregnant, and this swelling womb, wasn’t just bloating.

That I was actually in a metamorphis again,

Though I often forget.

I am pregnant, and how incredible is that,

That this time, I haven’t melted into it from a space of innocence and anticipation,

No

It’s just, so so simply, a part of who I am this time. Without a second thought.

Pregnancy diaries. 22 weeks

—

if you are connected with my on IG you may know by now we are 23 weeks pregnant with our second baby!

I’m excited to share videos telling friends & family/ some photos & videos on that platform

Though primarily I’m wanting to keep all in depth updates and explorations here for my paid subscribers on Substack.

honestly the reason being, we have loved the privacy of this pregnancy. I’m an open book, always, if a question is asked, I’ll answer.

Though I appreciate the intimacy of this time and there are some things I love sharing publicly and other aspects that I want to share/discuss/ with those outside of our in person community who are invested in this journey. I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone who reads what I have to share is actually cheering for my journey and so I have had to learn some discernment and put my generosity/ and openness into spaces people are fully choosing to be in (paid subscribers).

I really appreciate everyone here hanging out for email updates, and it’s important for me to have this space with you all because Instagram does feel inconsistent/ unpredictable at best.

The fact that many of you get cosy to read something I’ve written really warms my heart and has me so excited to sit at the laptop and write.

A few things coming up for paid subs

1. An in depth pregnancy update answering QNA from IG & sharing how this has really been

2. The story of conception (just wondering how erotic we go here 😂)

3. A giveaway to say thank you for being here & supporting me in this way

4. photos & videos that won’t be shared publicly

   if you’d like to change over to being a paid sub, its $9 a month (literally less than two coffees) and I’m preeeetttyyy sure you get a 2 week free trial. You can cancel your subscription whenever.

   lots of love beautiful people, I’ll do my best to sit & write this week xxx

   Kat