Romanticising Motherhood

Curating and receiving more beauty while not bypassing the struggles

Something I’ve always kept since I was a little girl, 

Is my ability to romanticise, get lost in the daydream, be taken by the fantasy, and create entire worlds within my mind. 

When I was younger this expressed as making up incredibly in depth imaginary games for my siblings, so real that I felt as though I could SEE our pet dragons up in the gumtrees that had morphed into castles, 

Or the fairies at the creek. 

I’d draw and paint characters, and take my brother out every day to feed the unicorns that lived in the veggie garden & replace their hay. 

It would look like drawing full scale landscaping plans to pitch to my dad to dig out a massive dam in the paddock with a small island on it (for me, obviously) so I could build a little dome to live in. 

As I got older, 

It looked like roleplaying with different aspects of myself, trying on identities to see what fit. 

It looked like fantasising a break up while driving, simply so that I could feel the pang of yearning in my heart. 

It turned into wildly vivid and detailed dreams all night where I’d wake up feeling as though I’d barely slept. 

Though my favourite expression so far, 

Has been my ability to romanticise motherhood. 

Because let’s be real - It’s absolutely NOT all glamorous, and at it’s best, motherhood is STILL a huge stretch and a constant recalibration of capacity, to navigate the aspects of actual mothering (Parenting, feeding, playing, managing), alongside the emotional and invisible work of motherhood (the inner work, and also the details of thoughtfulness only a mother/parents know that have things flowing more smoothly, or create pockets of magic for our children), and the aspects of mothering within an overall society that doesn’t (Yet) hold motherhood high on the values list… I could go on. 

Motherhood is everything. Not good or bad or hard or easy. It’s the spectrum, and likely always will be. Different seasons call out different challenges and different joys no matter where you are on the journey. 

AND 

I’ve found, the process of ACTIVELY seeking and finding evidence to support the internal dialogue that motherhood is in my heart, its FOR me and that raising these children is an honour, 

Has been medicine to my journey and genuinely made it more fun, connected and enjoyable. 

I could easily do the opposite, and list all the struggles and do my best to be as relatable as possible. But I know we ALL have the challenges already. And being relatable isn’t the only way through this journey. 

In fact, sometimes I’d rather be less relatable if it means being able to be in my body, crafting an experience that feels better on my heart. 

How the light dances across the room at 7am in the morning, is FOR ME, to enjoy and take in. 

The smell of rainwater hitting my skin, and the contrast of the breeze from the window coming in at the same time… Is for me to experience. 

The way Raf climbs back into bed after playing with Tully, and his tiny feet are freezing because he refuses his socks, but how he soaks my warmth in, Is for him, and For me. 

I was chatting to a friend a few months ago, and she’s a great example of a mother who romanticises it all… 

Her morning coffee, as the timer dings the second she’s up in her sweet PJ’s and bed hair. 

Always with fresh flowers on the table, lighting candles, incense, music. 

Little efforts that go a long way in impacting our external environment and therefore the feedback loop within. 

Other mothers I know, wear their nicest clothes on a normal day at home, because even though they’ll get messy, why not feel sexy and messy. 

I know mothers who make the effort to create pockets of beauty in their day to day lives because we all know how mundane it CAN get, 

So we MAY AS WELL soak in the sunshine of these times. 

Though it’s absolutely important to add, 

That romanticising, does not equal bypassing and often there ARE times that are hard, emotionally draining, heart breaking, that a new bunch of flowers won’t “fix”. 

The process of romanticising, means that we can indulge these emotions, and see the beauty within the pain, knowing it will inevitably pass, and that our inner worlds deserve to be danced with also. 

I find it easiest to romance my life, during transitional periods, 

For example, moving into a new home, when it’s all fresh and new, 

Or these last months with just Rafi and myself, knowing the time is growing shorter day by day.

So I soak him up just a little more, I make more effort to craft activities just that little more, and cuddle him in bed just that little bit more. 

I romanticise my moments with Tully, and lean INTO the love and adoration available there rather than leaning OUT because I’m tired and it takes effort to receive. 

The way he ordered me a decaf coffee the other day because he was thinking about my adrenals, even though I was completely off it when I realised it was not, in fact a joke, and that I would not be drinking my one shot almond latte I had been thinking of all morning. 

Or the way he goes and gets me a extra pillow every night and puts it between my legs to support my hips and growing belly. 

Or the way he will notice I’m in a hyper focused mode and will just show up with a smoothie for me.

Or today, when he took Rafi to a class, and he told me, “I’ve made you cacao, it’s on the bench. Please just relax when we are gone. Put some music on, write, take some time for you”

That man is medicine for my spirit. 

I believe living in a way that excites you, romances you, and has you feeling more alive in your body - Is the way of the mother maker. Crafting moments, receiving experiences, IS a creative way of living. 

Thats it for my afternoon musings today xx

Before I go, I wanted to say a HUGE thank you to the 100 of you who have chosen to be paid subscribers and have access to my (MUCH) longer form publications.

I genuinely always thought I’d write and give away so much of my time and energy (Happily) AND I’ll have you know, it feels so delicious to be received and supported in this way. I have 1500++ of you here on substack, and I appreciate even the 3 minutes it took to sign up, let alone read what I have to share, and comment/ engage/ spend time here with me.

Love to you all 

And thank you for being here xx