Stop Dreaming Backwards
You're being way too practical and it's a buzzkill
Ah, friends, hello.
It’s actually an article I wrote a while ago but only to my paid subs at the time - which wasn’t many. Since then I have paused paid subscriptions so I’d like to release it to everyone for free.
Todays newsletter is about a framework I use to “dream”.
There’s the linear dreaming.
Then there’s the reaching forward in time and pulling it onto your own lap so to speak.
I’d love to explore this with you to spark some thought and curiosity for yourselves moving into 2025. I’m not really a new year new me type gal, but I am all for harnessing a collective reset energy while it’s available.
This article is about moving from one reality of life, into another.
And the process of closing that gap.
Today’s letter is an inspired response to a close friend, and a discussion we had a little while ago.
Elaborated and made more sparkly, for the sake of this article.
“Kat, I want to dream big from the heart, and also… logistics? The practicalities of how I’m ACTUALLY going to make it happen? How can we dream within our limits?”
What if all the experiences you want are simply over the wall of logistics you’re feeling overwhelmed by?
What if you can find a creative solution for kids, money, time, family etc.
What if you could dream a bigger dream. One where it was all taken care of?
What if you weren’t dreaming from your life now… but started dreaming from your life that’s coming?
This (^^) is where the flavour of my conversation went with my friend, and to you reading this also, if you care to a(muse) me.
My friend was wanting to dream. By nature they were quite practical about these things. Though on this day he really wanted to dream from the heart.
I’m using the example of moving to Bali below, as many conversations this week have been about relocating overseas, however all of this can easily be applied to a career as a creative, or a thriving family, or wellbeing goals, or buying your dream home, or even living simply against societal expectations.
Dear: Total legend who I love to bits….
What if it’s not about dreaming from your “life right now?”
I know it “Makes sense” to. When we’ve learned our entire lives that time and life is linear. It’s a ‘one foot in front of another’ situation. It’s a “What choices are available to me based on my current resources, current circumstances and current perspective on life?”.
We take it all and smoosh it into a ball. We say,
“this is what I got. This is who I am.”
We stop letting ourselves dream from a liberated and free heart, and instead we dream from the head, and honestly, we often dream from trauma in our bodies too. Rarely from a place of neutrality.
What’s realistic.
What’s safe.
What’s a “Smart decision”.
What if this was all backwards.
What if our dreaming was supposed to make a lot less sense (from this end of the timeline, though total sense from your future self).
That the very experience you’re craving to feel - is actually inside the “Not so smart” decision. The decision that has you a little uncomfortable… the one that’s not so realistic.
We, naturally go from a framework we’ve subtly been taught our whole lives.
First looking at our current reality. logistics/ resources »
THEN creating a realistic dream from what we’ve got »
Then a mental timeline *if I work hard for 3 years that means I should be able to achieve XYZ* »
Hopefully not self sabotage it »
Hopefully achieve dream in desired timeline. »
Realise it doesn’t always feel how we had hoped it would. »
Start again from new current reality.
Now I absolutely understand the fulfilment of working towards a goal.
I understand creating safety internally by looking at the logistics and acting accordingly.
I do believe it all holds a place in the dreaming process.
and
I believe we are doing it backwards.
Every one of my big dreams was never conceived from my current reality,
Never born from whispers of what others think is possible for me.
Never doula’d by the practicalities and logistics.
It was never cradled by “realistic dreaming”.
Never fed by the breast of limited resources.
Never grown by mental timelines.
What if we took logistics and practicalities, and said hey, thank you for keeping us safe. You have a place here. It’s just not at the start of the lineup. Please shuffle to the back of the line.
Then you start with the question -
If my limits of *money, time, mortgage, family, community, resources, multiple kids, partner, jobs etc* didn’t limit me, what would I truly dream?
What version of life would light me up from the inside out?
What would get me out of bed in the morning? Feeling turned on by my life?
How would I feel? What would I do? How does my dream life actually look?
Don’t worry if you can’t see how you’d get there. That’s not the point. The point is to dream a dream, or multiple dreams up from a blank canvas.
Who would I BE in this version of life?
What would I believe about myself?
How would I feel in my relationship/ family?
How would I feel in my body?
How does money feel?
What has me feeling free?
Then, I’d begin the inner exploration from THIS version of myself. I’d grab her from that future timeline and reality, and I'd step into her as if I was her right now.
Then I’d make space to explore creative solutions. (Cont below)
If you’re enjoying this so far - then you’ll definitely enjoy Tully and my “Visioning Gathering” that’s happening JAN 2nd (In a few days). It’s online, for two hours. Super affordable and a great way to kick off 2025 with clarity, excitement and roundedness. Come play:
That version of me isn’t limited by current beliefs, perspectives, or ideas that keep us looping. She’s free.
She can see more clearly than I can now.
So I’d explore creative solutions to help close the gap between the current life, and the dream life.
I’d approach it with curiosity. Every time a limitation sneaks in, I’d send it away.
“You have a place, just not yet”.
The purpose of this is to just explore options. Not always completely realistic options based on life right now. But freeing options, based on the future version of you living the life you want to live.
Does the version of you who feels financially wealthy, believe that money is scarce and you have to save every penny?
Does the version of you who is vibrant, healthy and inspired by life… not want to get out of bed in the morning?
Does the version of you who is a creative, a present mother, a regulated person, never make time to prioritise those things?
I’ll use the example of wanting to move overseas but are in a job that’s location dependant, simply based on conversations I’ve had this week.
Practicalities say: I can’t make money anywhere else. I have a family to feed.
Creative solutions say: What would be an alternative? Is there something else I want to try? Could I learn to make money online? Does the company offer distance work? Could I learn new skills and drop ship? Start a business? Ecommerce? Invest overseas?
Could I become the sort of person who explores options?
Practicalities say: I have a mortgage
Creative solutions say: Is there a possible timeline where I sell? What does that open up for me? Could I airbnb my place for an income stream? Could I house swap overseas with another family?
Or in our case, We want to go but don’t want to leave community.
Practicalities say: “I’ll make new friends”. It also says “Maybe just go for a holiday and come back”. I’m always moving. Why can’t I stay still?
Creative solutions say: What if I helped my friends find ways to spend a couple of months in Bali too? What if there was a way to expand this dreaming onto those in our community who are aligned. What if we BYO some community? What if we all dream bigger… What if I could have it all, and so could they?
What creative solutions can be explored from the FUTURE version of you, rather than the current self?
So instead of this old and outdated framework for our dreaming
First looking at our current reality. logistics/ resources »
THEN creating a realistic dream from there »
Then a mental timeline *if I work hard for 3 years that means I should be able to achieve XYZ* »
Hopefully not self sabotage »
Hopefully achieve dream in desired timeline. »
Realise it doesn’t always feel how we had hoped it would. »
Start again from new current reality.
The example of this with the current conversation is…
*Insert name* wants to move to Bali, but they have a job here, not much savings, and the kids are happy in school. Plus a mortgage. Maybe a dog.
A REALISTIC dream is maybe to just go to Bali for a holiday each year.
Or perhaps get a Fly in Fly out gig to and from Bali but then sacrifice time away from family.
From that, the mental timeline speaks and says ok, work your job for another 4 years, get some savings, then take a year off to live in Bali and travel.
Hopefully not self sabotage.
Hopefully achieve dream in 4 years.
Realise that they have to go back to normal life after a year in Bali.
Start again.
Instead, We do this:
Dream a new reality as if limitations and restrictions didn’t exist. »
Feel into the version of ourself who lives that reality»
Explore creative solutions from that version of ourselves»
THEN
Invite in logistics. But instead of logistics from our current life and version of you, we still work backwards.
What would the logistics be for these creative solutions, from the future version of you.
Example:
Imagine the dream of working remotely in Bali with the family. Feeling location independent and thriving financially. You’re hot. Vibrant. Happy.
This version of you is connected in relationship because you aren’t on the grind.
You have more quality time for the kids and family. You have home support, children support.
You are healthy and radiant even. You’ve embraced your hot parent era. You aren’t limited by the thoughts of a burnt out you, and instead you feel creative and inspired.
What would this version of you choose right now?
Perhaps it’s to begin a “Side Hustle” with the intention it can take over full time income.
Perhaps it’s finding remote work online and applying for something new.
Perhaps it’s learning new skills and pivoting.
Perhaps it’s putting the house up for sale, or borrowing against it to buy a cheap plot of land somewhere else and set up a boutique tiny home airbnb for an income stream.
Who knows. Let the ideas fly.
Then, what are the logistics for THAT to happen.
What’s the gap between who you are now, and that creative solution. Rather than the gap between now and your big dream.
What needs to change.
and keep plenty of space for miracles to happen on your journey there.
This is a *part* of the process of embodying an identity and bringing it into reality.
There’s quantum physics involved. Neuroscience too. It’s an incredibly multifaceted world to explore, but there are practises like this that can really help shift how we are experiencing life.
When we try to plan a realistic path, we don’t leave space for miracles. For fate to step in and take the wheel. For life to pivot us out of circumstances and situations.
Sometimes shaking up our life a bit, creates energetic space for new opportunities to find us.
What if we think we know the best way to achieve our dreams,
and what will have us feel happy…
Though there are always other ways. What if we let them surprise us.
So, to sign out of this letter,
I want to simply remind you -
Your big dreams are valid.
They do exist.
Even if your big dream seems small and simple to everyone else.
They are possible. Perhaps you simply need to approach it “backwards”.
There is a version of you that can weave the life you dream of.
You can experience financial wellbeing.
You can learn new skills.
You can call in opportunity.
You can set the intention for a change and pivot.
You can ask for your dream to get clear and reveal itself.
You can be incredibly creative with solutions.
You can fuck off any rules of timelines and what can and can’t happen and instead you can actually sit in possibility for your life. Jump timelines and in a year from now, barely believe your eyes.
You’re invited to our VISIONING GATHERING happening on January 2nd (Aus east coast time) and yes, the replay will be emailed out too.
It’s only days away so this is your last chance to join!
Come and play!
Tickets are affordable (and yes you only need one ticket as a couple, we won’t double charge you.)
AND we have a supported ticket for those in financial stress or single parents.
Click the button above ^^
I’d love you to reflect on this and if you want to share a dream, and have any questions on how to make it happen, I’d be happy to explore some creative solutions in the comments with you and have a little heart storm here and there. ,
Or perhaps you have done this already, and pivoted your life in unrealistic timeline shifting ways, and have a story to tell. I LOVE evidence stacking and hearing from those who have done it over and over again, so please share.
Love Kat.