The valley is deep & it will swallow me whole…

On the edge

Is where I’m standing

With a fire burning below

And I’m wondering

If I have what it takes

To walk myself into the inferno again.

To allow yet another crumbling

Until I’m unrecognizable to myself.

Another cycle of death and rebirth.

I remind myself it’s always been this way

And it always will be.

Not from habit, or from expectation.

But from the way that life touches us all.

From the way that it’s always happening,

We are all in it,

In a rebirthing

In an internal death.

On the inside

Or on the outside.

In a limbo,

Or the clarity of knowing,

And circled around to the space between again.

And so

I’m on the edge

And I know the burn is inevitable…

But I feel somewhat insecure about this one.

Even though I’ve thrived through this cycle many times before,

It’s weird to enjoy myself

And enjoy my life

And to enjoy the pace

And to intentionally welcome change in this way.

It’s always been somewhat predictable

But today it feels less so.

Today it feels mysterious.

Not mysterious in a seductive and sexy way,

That lures me in with anticipation and desire for excitement and newness.

Mysterious in the way that feels almost dangerous.

And not because it is,

But because it’s unknown.

The valley is deep

And it’s about to swallow me whole.

I feel insecure in if I can rise to the occasion

Meet myself in the way that is being asked of me..

And though resistant,

I know there’s always gifts in the things we resist.

And it’s because of my resistance that I trust it enough to fall.