$100,000+ intuitive hits.

Holding energetic relationships with our ideas.

Jun 14, 2024

Hello friends,

This is a letter I had specifically for my paid audience but since pausing subscriptions - I’d love to offer it here for everyone to read.

It’s the type you may want to pour a cuppa for and get cosy to read.

I wonder if you’d believe me if I told you that my intuition, gut feelings & the devotion to listening to the subtleties- guided me towards making hundreds of thousands of dollars…

With no plan, minimal (very minimal) business skills (Like so minimal that anyone in the entrepreneurial space wouldn’t know whether to laugh or cry or possibly empathetically sigh.) Just whispers, nudges, and an unwavering faith in the steps I’ve been told to take.

Would you believe me if I told you it all happened in wildly fulfilling, creative and fun ways?

Would you believe me if I told you, I happily moved away from it all, stepped into no personal income, mild confusion quarter life crisis, and sat in the silence of myself, because that was what the whisper guided me towards.

I trusted that, whatever I was moved to do - was only the natural next step along the river to my big life visions. That if I trusted - I’d inevitably be guided exactly where I was supposed to go.

Almost 7 years ago when I was deep in service with an idea that changed the course of my life.

In this article I share stories of different ideas, how I relate to them, listen to them, and allow them to guide me into nourishing my heart, and home.

Some of these were financially nourishing, some were here to nourish the spirit.

I write about quitting a job, with no backup, no savings, and making $31,000 almost overnight when I was 20 in a leap of faith and devotion to creativity.

I write about starting a business that was designed to create healing for the female lineage in my family and most specifically, my younger sister… and how that turned into a world wide community.

I write about how Tully and I trusting our guidance (alongside training and lived experience) - turned into hundreds of thousands of dollars AND the ability to be fully present postpartum with our first son Rafi.

I write about the lessons learned, and my personal process with all of this - and now as a mother maker.

For some browsers this post may cut off due to photos and length - you’ll need to open the app to read in full if this happens for you.

I’m in the middle of writing three essays at the moment.

I jump between them, based on which one whispers to me that day.

I like to work like that. Though more recently, we’ve been introducing a bit more structure and schedule to my ever wild and pulsating waves of creativity.

Structure - Needed. So needed. Something I resisted my entire life up until three or so weeks ago. But the whispers say “Now” is the time to become friends with my previous arch nemesis. Structure isn’t to mean rigid, or dry. It’s a holding container, for the beautiful ruggedness of the creative process, and has me feel safer exploring those edges… knowing I wont get lost (because of course, I’m needed elsewhere, Insert; *children* *Husband* *Community* *Home* *Other*)

Little whisper, I hear you.

and

I’m devoted to you.

In hindsight, I look back at my life - Especially my working life, I can see clearly that most of those decisions and choices were guided by this creative whisper. The faith that my creative visions and career were guiding me long before said career had even begun.

I’ve spoken before around philosophies of time merging, and how the elder version of me, the wise woman, often reaches back in time and guides me… Just like the mother in me now, reaches through time and reparents and guides the childhood version of me. We often assume the present is what creates our future… though, I wonder how much of our current reality is actually guided by what’s already happened… years from now.

(If you like where that was going, feel free to pop over and read "The Spiral of You" a semi psychedelic exploration of non linear time and self, then come back. )

I feel as though the “elder” version of my creative self is using her wrinkled hands to pull springs and guide me in or out of experiences.

She works in co-creation with my creative essence and the energy of the ideas that come to me to be birthed into this world.

In hindsight, I see that I was always very attuned to this type of guidance.

Though, who knows, maybe this is all super fluffy and instead of being guided by something “bigger than myself” I just fucked off the rules and did what I pleased and it just worked out when in many cases it technically shouldn’t have. OR maybe magic is real, Ideas do exist beyond ourselves, and we CAN learn to cowork on our bigger visions.

Third option, Perhaps it doesn’t matter if it’s real or not, it’s more to do with our relationship with it - and how that relationship free’s up our bodies, nervous systems and creative intelligence. How whatever perception we hold - we choose, based on how it makes us feel and if it is helpful to our spirit or not.

The first time I learned that we could be in relationship with our ideas, I was 20.

I jumped on an intimate workshop style call with a woman who I really admired, and who is now a friend.

She spoke into how, with no business experience, she had created a million dollar company (or multi mill, I forget, it was a while ago now). She had only listened to the whisper for each next step. She had been in rendezvous with her idea, the energetic version of the on paper company, regularly. Many would say devoted, and with the ultimate faith in the guidance she would receive. She would sit in ceremony and meditation daily, checking in, like an energetic business meeting with the entity of her idea which became her company/business. For every small and big decision including hard decisions like turning down big investment offers on shark tank when the whisper said “not this”, or simple ones like “Dear *company name* how am I supposed to market you today”. Even when the answers made no sense, it never had her waver in her faith that every step given would take her exactly where she needed to go.

I remember being in awe.

YES. I felt this. I had always been overwhelmed and turned off by all the “shoulds” of the creative business world. I so desperately wanted to be connected to others who did it soulfully, and through committing to a relationship with the ideas, the ideas themselves would bloom into life and fulfil their purpose here.

Possibly that is our first lesson of today:

Not all ideas are here to make you millions.

Many, are here to have us grow, develop skills, gain confidence, have us meet the right people, guide us towards a next step, or simply hold the purpose of fun and lightheartedness. Not every Idea is here to make us millions. It’s important to feel into the conception and intention of an idea. Ask it - What are you here for?

The second lesson:

Though, some - are.

Some ideas are here to create and circulate financial resources to you in exchange for you showing up and being devoted. Oh, that feeling of true devotion, of service. So scrumptious. I’m unsure if other creatives can relate but I had always wanted something to make me go a little crazy for it, to take me outside of myself and to be inhaled by this other world. Something that I don’t stop thinking about, though also don’t completely understand, and have to wade the waters of mystery and trust.

Some ideas come with the intention of nourishing you, your family, your home etc financially. Sometimes - that’s the agreement between you and your idea. Sometimes idea’s arrive to be a means to help another idea get off the ground. They can work together like that. Acting like each other’s wingman…

I guess that leads me to lesson three:

Devotion doesn’t mean sacrifice.

Being of service, doesn’t mean giving all of yourself and sacrificing the rest. I don’t think our creativity and ideas want us to be in service in that way. They don’t want us to suffer. It’s a mutual relationship. One where we can have agreements, boundaries and co-work together towards the bigger vision. A healthy dynamic, and sustainability rather than dependancy (Ignore what I said above about being inhaled… or not)

One of my agreements (Think a business meeting with my ideas in my minds eye, getting out a beautiful contract, signing with a glowing white feather pen) with any idea that move through me - Is that they MUST be nourishing for my family, energising for myself, and not require me to sacrifice my wellbeing or highest values in order to have it bloom. If it can’t meet that, then it can fly away and land with someone who has more capacity, and I’ll go on living my life until one arrives that can meet my needs. Not to say it doesn’t take work to co-create something into reality, but the way we think we have to work in order to “deserve success” needs to evolve.

I was 20, almost 21 and working at a surf shop. I was working maybe 3 - 4 days a week, earning pocket money. I despised the fact I was working a job. My free spirited and rebellious nature was gagging up the back of my brain, and I would have much preferred to be broke and happy than having a little cash and working under a big boss who couldn’t recognise a single gift I had to share and instead saw me as completely disposable.

However, the guidance whispered “do it”.

I began working, with my best friend - which lightened every day. Though, after about 9 months, the contrast from my dreams and current reality was making me squirm too much.

I sat with it for a while, and decided to write a letter to the all-mighty creative gods.

“Dear creativity…”

Is that how you start a letter? To something you can only see the symptoms of, rather than the thing itself.

Is that how you start a letter to anything in non human form?

I’m not sure. It was my first time - so I rolled with it.

“I’m not loving this job, and I know my life is going to be made up of more than this - so I feel totally ready for my next step. What do I have to do? Send me an idea so I can run with it and leave this job”.

I waited.

Nothing.

I went back to my job, and one afternoon I was closing the store and I randomly got the idea to print some of the receipt paper out blank so I could write on the back of it.

Not the idea I was expecting creative gods. But go on.

“Make peace”. Was all I felt.

So, on the back of the receipt paper, I took a moment to sit with the amount of judgement I had been holding around working a job, and lack of reverence for that season of my life. I felt embarrassed (as a 20 year old with a normal job. Who did I think I was??). But it also felt like I was wearing clothes way to tight, and no matter what I couldn’t get comfortable and would have much rathered be naked and vulnerable. I got the receipt paper and wrote:

“Thank you, *shop name (You have no idea how tempted I am to namedrop right now)*, for supporting me financially over the last 9 months. Thank you for putting fuel in my car, and coffee in my hand (and my best friend’s hand) each morning. Thank you for pulling me away from feeling desperate for my creativity to work… and instead give me breathing room to recenter, have fun, gather resources, and spend time with my best friend. I’m ready to let you go, this time - with gratitude”

I truly felt the shift from judgement to gratitude. It was almost enough to convince me to stay… I then immediately printed out another slip of receipt paper.

“I am ready. I’ll take a leap of faith and I will trust that I’ll be caught.

Please catch me.”

I popped that one in my pocket. I wonder if I still have it hidden amongst a pile of worn old boxes.

I then sat at the computer there and then, in the shop, and typed my resignation email to the boss. I knew he’d not be pleased as they were short staffed. I hated the thought of overloading my workmates with more. I felt selfish even, but it had to be done.

I had no savings (Like $5 on top of enough for my next week of rent). I had no plan. No backup ideas I was hoping would work. Zilch.

I had just paid my phone bill, rent and food bill, so I knew I would be sweet for at least a week or two before a mild panic would set in. Also keep in mind, I had no mortgage, no children and essentially very little responsibilities.

I clicked send. Not before adding some very spicy youtube video keynote talks from Simon Sinek on leadership and how to inspire others rather than scaring them into showing up.

I titled these “These videos would be helpful to you as a boss”.

(no, I never received a reply).

I walked out of that shop for the last time, and home to Tully with sweaty palms and a heart full of liberation.

“Courage is always rewarded, courage is always rewarded”.

I had followed the nudge. I had made peace with working a job and could see the gifts it had offered me. I made a leap of faith.

I was now - mid air.

No net in sight.

In this moment, It would have been natural to hustle for an idea, negotiate with creativity. Give me the idea NOW, or else I’ll go back to my job and never be devoted to you. Blackmail, I’d call that blackmail. Give me the idea NOW, please, I’ll do anything for you. (Look, close to devotion, but the willingness to sacrifice every personal value wouldn’t quite feel right)

But I didn’t hustle an idea, because the whisper said “Rest, and trust”.

So I did. I got back into my life. I made love, I went to the beach, I sat in the sun in the middle of the day, I danced.

Exactly a week later, and a week before my birthday,

The idea hit.

It came in fast, while I was sipping cacao with Tully on our bedroom floor. I was about to meditate, though instead I demanded Tully go find me a pen, QUICK BABE, A PEN, I NEED A PEN, (Am I that dramatic in real life. Yes.) I had to write it all down.

This is often how creativity finds me, in the unexpected moments, and she demands my time in the same way I demanded the pen. Now that I’m a mum, some boundaries had to come into place because I really prefer not to be on my phone notes aggressively typing ideas with blue light drowning my eyes when I need to parent the next day. So she doesn’t visit me at 3am these days. It’s usually in the shower or breastfeeding before bed.

I started scribbling on the paper, as the words filled my head and exited out the ball point just as fast. It was a five week course on emotional regulation, nervous system reset, visioning, ritual and ceremony - in order to align ourselves to our dreams. I combination of many teachings I had been involved in over the last few years. “she” (yes, I’m gendering the idea. apologies) named herself, “The Creatress” (Shout out to any OG creatress’s reading) and within two days I had completed the branding in a whirlwind hyper focus (no kids yet to be responsible for) and had it out into the world.

Within a week, it had 88 enrolments and had made $19,500. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Something fuelled by complete crazy passion, dancing with something that felt beyond myself in a whirlwind of a 4 day surge, had morphed into the net that had caught me.

Just as promised, I was caught both financially, and with something I was beyond excited and passionate about. The perfect dance in my eyes.

The 5 weeks passed, and the feedback had been great, and given me the confidence to open it again. 52 enrolments, which translated to $11,500.

This income gave me the space and time to really sit with what I wanted to do, and who I wanted to serve and show up for. It also allowed me to support Tully and I financially for the first time in our relationship while he went through his own recalibration. (Something that feels important to me - allowing to give each other pauses like this, to reassess, realign, and feel into what’s next, without the financial pressure. It’s both a privilege and an active intention we work towards often).

My leap of faith turned a soulless job, into a $31,000 passion project almost over night - though most importantly, was the evidence I needed to completely lean into devotion to my inner guidance, and trust where she’d take me.

That was my first experience with being lead by my creativity, though absolutely not the last. Over the years I co-created with the all mighty creativity gods (for lack of a better word, but so you understand my humour, I absolutely mean I was simply and utterly willing to listen to any nudge given). I created a transformative low price point course for 15-25 yr olds, that would move over an 8 week period and bring them back to self. I did this one for my sister who was 15 at the time. I felt so mad that a boy had kissed her without consent and I was so mad that she didn’t yet have the confidence to speak into what made her uncomfortable. It had me screaming into a pillow and dry reaching from my solar plexus. I made that course for her - to bring her into her confidence, so that she KNEW herself, and so that she could be connected with a network of other girls her age who were similar minded/hearted. But really, I made it for my younger self. I made it for my mum, I made it for my tiny sister who was 8 at the time. I made it from sprinkling some rage, some passion, some excited inspiration, some protective big sister, and some study over the years, into a big bubbling cauldron and out spat “The Bloom Playground”.

That was a soul project. Its intention was to NEVER make millions, though of course I could see a hundred different ways I could have scaled it had I wanted to from a practical perspective. The whisper said no, that’s not what this is for. This is for healing, and community, and gifting these girls a sense of connection to self and others. It’s for healing between yourself and your sister and close the age gap that had felt miles too long.

And so, I let it do exactly that.

I would sit in meditation, and “Bloom” (The Bloom Playground) would appear in my minds eye as a 16 year old girl with beautiful pale while freckly skin and the most firey red curly bounce long hair. She’d wear green overalls and feel so upbeat and light hearted. Very different from the Creatress, who simply appeared as a peachy pink energy.

I’d sit with Bloom, and ask questions. Which topics are most important to cover? What’s a fair price for young, not yet adult girls. What investment is appropriate for them to take the course seriously? Which order of content will shape the journey and help them integrate the lessons the most? What format? Live? Pre-recorded? Do I cap it at a number of girls, or leave it open?

Whatever answer came, I trusted and acted upon.

Bloom went from an online 8 week course, to also being in person events where the girls were writing letters to their inner child, eye gazing, learning about the emotional spectrum and how we express and suppress. They learned about sexuality, relationships, communication, connecting to a vision for their life, self honouring of the heart and body, boundaries, connecting to community, and exploring message, impact and social media. Hundreds of girls aged 15-25 though most under 20 joined Bloom over the year.

What really moved me though, was when Bloom grew her own legs and walked without me. The girls began organising their own meet ups around the world. They’d book airbnb’s and all go stay together and create circles, play, share vulnerably and really deepen beautiful friendships. This was part of the original intention that was whispered, and I got to watch it all play out right in front of my eyes. I saw my sister be picked up by girls she had done the course with, and go and create beautiful meaningful memories together. It was incredible to see it all unfold exactly as I was told it would - without initiating those aspects myself.

Later on, Tully and I started running couples retreats, back before tantra was super cool and mainstream. Back before cancel culture and everyone being very offended by everything. I remember feeling so much fear. I was way too young to “teach” on relationships. Who was I to “know” what I was doing. My 7 years of very intentional personal development, facilitation training, supporting my then mentor at events, self study- by that point, gave me a starting foundation Passion and lived experience took me the rest of the way. I was VERY passionate about relating. Tully and I had a very unconventional relationship in comparison to the mainstream. It was filled with love, and an incredible ability to create safety for each other. Our communication was somewhat impressive - even for us, and there was a beautiful structure of healthy emotional release practices that had us healing and clearing quickly, though not always easily. We navigated some really rough waters in our first 18 months and came out the other side with skills we wanted to share.

We were innocent in our desire to simply help other couples. We had a framework. We knew it worked. It wasn’t so heady back then.

This is obviously a very short overview of how and why we chose to enter into couples work together, because let me assure you - working with your significant other isn’t a walk in the park. But the whisper said GO! One night I demanded Tully get me a pen (Can we recognise a pattern here haha) and we had an entire in depth couples retreat mind mapped out an hour later.

The whisper said - make it into something. We named *her “Living in Love”.

Creatress’s intention was to give me enough evidence that my trust fall was worth it, and that my ideas DID want to show up for me through passion and income. She anchored in belief.

Bloom’s intention was community and healing.

Living in Love arrived and the whisper said “This is here to nourish you emotionally and financially. Individually and as a couple. Use your skills to serve them, and I’ll look after you.”

We couldn’t find a venue to hold the amount of people we wanted to attend. I couldn’t imagine couples all in bunkbeds or shared rooms. I knew - the space would come. However we lived rurally and I truly had searched every house on airbnb, and event space in the area. Until, of course, we were at a cafe and a lady ran up to Tully and said she knew of him from facebook. Her retreat space and hotel was almost finished and she wanted to host us. Of course. (Shoutout to Premalaya)

Our first retreat sold no tickets. We were about 6 weeks away from it, so still plenty of time…. though the whisper said It’s the wrong date, change it. We pushed it from November to March the following year. It sold out.

Our next one sold out too.

We shifted things online. We needed more space and time and honestly - We couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone needed more time to integrate and make sure the change was actually happening, not just a retreat high. We also wanted to be a lot more accessible to couples as our core driver was that if couples could move from struggle to “good” or “good” to absolutely thriving and connected, it would impact their children - who create their blueprint of love and relationship from their parents.

The core driver was - let’s create space for more connected couples - so that more children can adopt secure blueprints of love.

When I would sit in meditation with Living in Love, she was etherial, and beautiful. Somewhat angelic and had the energy of the mother. I truly felt “Looked after” by her and knew she was guiding us to be of service in this way, so that she could fulfil the intention she held. Only now as I’m writing this am I making the link between her energy being that of the mother, and our intention with couples work actually being for the children to come… *Ah, of course. Nods to the past with a smile*

Living in Love became out biggest offering and also the one thing that nourished us fully financially. Over the few years we ran this program we worked with hundreds and hundreds of couples. We also were called into Live speaking gigs, podcasts and more. I would meditate and see her roots travel underground and finding the couples who needed to work with us. I truly, truly trusted that she would make a call to the right people who we could help. Every time I’d post/promote, I could see the root system expanding out, golden. Calling couples forward. We learned a LOT, so did the couples.

Much of it has evolved since then, though I look back with love heart eye emoji’s as it’s been timestamped on my life. We listened to the whisper when we asked for guidance around pricing, around the course content crafting, around whether to do it as long form live zoom calls or pre-record it, whether to seperate the men and women at all or keep them together the entire time. The whisper had us shift it from a 5 week course, into a 10 week one. We asked for guidance on branding, and even would sit in meditation and ask the “bio” to come through in a meditation, and it would. I remember we were so IN relationship to Living in Love, that some days it honestly felt like an energetic threesome. In my minds eye we would sit around a meeting table, her, myself and Tully and discuss next steps. State our needs. See what she would ask of us. Tully and I often sat in physical meditation together, and afterwards would compare notes and be amazed at the amount of times it would match each others.

I also remember getting to a point where I felt ready to move on to the next chapter of my life, Tully didn’t. Relationships are his dharma and he will likely teach on relationships for the rest of his life as he is an incredible facilitator and continues to up-level his skillset.

As I was moving away from wanting to continue, I arrived at the meeting table. Myself and Living in Love. I told *her I was ready to move on, and how grateful I had been to be held so beautifully over the years… though I was also scared about the income loss. I was scared that Tully wouldn’t continue relationship work without me even though he loved it. I was confused as to what could possibly be next - though I knew I wanted to focus on our impending parenthood.

So we negotiated. I said, I would host one last round of Living in Love. In exchange for me to show up and devote myself to it - I needed to know that we would be completely looked after throughout our postpartum period so that Tully didn’t have to work and could be fully present with myself and our first son due not long after.

“Jump, and you will be caught. Trust. Your role is to serve couples. My role is to nourish you”.

“Make it half price” So we made the final round of Living in Love, half price.

The $50,000 that came alongside it, held us through the end of pregnancy, and early postpartum. It allowed both Tully and I to sink into parenthood and fully recalibrate.

She nourished us as her goodbye kiss. As promised. Her intention was to always serve us, as a couple, as we showed up and served other couples. We both cried when we let her go in that form. It really felt like a beautiful heartbreak.

So maybe it wasn’t millions, but it was always clear what she arrived in our lives to do.

Tully continued coaching privately, then studying and recalibrating his own offering into Liberating Love which would be ready a couple of years later… and I geared up for my creative revolution that would hit me about 16 months later.

Some photos from our couples retreat we hosted in 2018

In 2020/21 pulled away from all business ventures, and sat in the silence within myself. It was an overwhelmingly guided decision. To forfeit all income, give the baton to Tully, and get comfortable in the mystery of the unknown. It felt an awful lot like those last weeks of pregnancy… knowing baby could arrive at any moment, but could also be a while away.

I sat in the nothingness and let the recalibration take hold. It was giving me space to just be mama. To be in presence with Rafi. To land in motherhood and find my feet without needing to teach.

It wasn’t until May 2022 where Mother Maker landed. After a whole year of mystery and limbo and creating quietly and softly for myself. She arrived with the podcast “Mother Maker”. I began interviewing women, and planning physical events for mothers to explore creative edges and be nourished by experiential art. The whisper guided me to a woman to do some symbols for my book, and one jumped out at me to become a logo for Mother Maker. (I am also aware you may think that logo is tattoo’d on my forearm. I PROMISE I did NOT tattoo my business logo on my forearm. But the symbol did mean “intuitive Motherhood” when channeled for my work, and so I tattoo’d it… THEN gave it to Mother Maker too *So glad that is out of my brainspace*)

The whisper said “Not yet” for the events I was receiving visions for and I resisted listening as I felt so excited by them… and somewhat scared of going back to being in a limbo of nothingness. The events are still on hold. Though they all have a safe place in my notebooks and are maturing often. They make more sense as time goes on to me and I’m now glad I didn’t act on them straight away. The Mother maker podcast moved for one season then whispered “Pause”. In that time I shifted my focus to my wellbeing, health and conscious conception prep of Ren. The podcast is still here, though she’s slow. When I found substack, over time it revealed to me as a holding platform for Mother Maker in another way that fostered a different sort of community.

Another idea that arrived when I was in my early pregnancy in 2019 was an event called “Becoming Mother”. I had all sorts of reservations - the main one being the fact I was not yet a mother. I could see the need for an event in our community that gathered women who wanted to learn with each other. I could see the power in collaborating with a bunch of speakers on topics like conscious conception, holistic pregnancy, Birth, postpartum, parenthood and intimacy, etc.

Each speaker I reached out to, was based on a gut instinct/ a whisper. From midwives, to doulas, to women speaking on matressence, sexuality, pregnancy, and spirited pre-conception and spirit babies.

I invited some mother makers who had their own businesses to set up at the event also like a mini mama market.

I got shown images in my minds eye of rugs and vintage couches, cups of chai and curating a cosy nook.

We lived rurally and I had no idea if a venue like that even existed. But of course, I found her. She found me. It all came together beautifully and I hosted Becoming Mother at 20 weeks pregnant with Rafi, for my local community.

It was a true collaboration, with all speakers donating their time, a friend lending speakers and microphone equipment, people donating food in exchange for a ticket etc. The village, for connection and education. It gives me goosebumps thinking about now. “It’s supposed to feel easy” I would hear, as a friend offered her speaker, and another friend showed up with flowers for the table. “It’s supposed to be more collaborative, you don’t need to be the star of this show” I heard as I chose to step down from being a speaker at the event myself, and instead host and shine the light on the other amazing speakers.

Becoming Mother, Late 2019, Margaret River, Western Australia

There are many more smaller and beautiful ideas over this time of my life.

Every time, the idea would come, I’d give it a name, and an identity. I’d dream them up in my minds eye. Often in human form but not always. Often with magic. Always. Always with some magic.

I would sit in meditation and call a meeting. A gathering. Sometimes I had multiple ideas at once and we would all arrive around the meeting table.

Sometimes the gatherings were every day, and I’d ask for guidance on next steps.

I would understand the intention and purpose of each idea, and let it be it’s own rather than expecting it to be “THE” idea that would give me everything.

I would make agreements, and it really, truly felt like a collaboration in the unseen worlds. I would show up, and commit to the idea. It would fulfil its purpose - whatever that was.

Sometimes it was financial, though often, it was a project that would waltz me to the next, before handing me over with more perspective, skills and confidence.

I once saw ideas like bubbles floating above our heads. Slowly one would move into the channel and infiltrate my life.

Now, admittedly, I see it as less mystical in a visual sense, and more so a clear embodiment of trust for whatever pulls me. It’s like I’ve done my internship and now I know that only ideas will come that will nourish me, as any creative project requires time away from my husband and my children. It’s a family affair and honestly, now, a family commitment. It’s not just me committing to my creativity and saying Yes, I’m here. All of me.

No, it’s my entire little family all swirling and shifting around each other to make it all work. So I expect my creative ideas to truly respect that.

I assume that’s also why these days it feels important for me to be paid for my work and ability to show up. I never used to need payment - as I was always so so more than happy to give. Give to community, share the connections and network I had put a bajillion hours and effort into over years, and not realise my recommendations, and time invested, held value. I would be happy to give my writing, my paintings, my art, my love, my time for free over and over because it truly felt so natural to me. How dare I charge for something that feels easy.

Some seasons, are for service, where I’m paid in other ways. Through connections, fulfilment, passion, fun, etc

This season the whisper says “It’s supposed to nourish you financially too. The mother creative is not meant to starve.”

And I say “Great, that’s what I need to be able to show up for you”. *Let’s sign on the dotted line*

I have stunning ideas of experiential events. From mothers retreats and festival, to family camp outs, to pure art experiments and nourishing evenings. Think poetry nights or tattoo ceremonies. Silent naked ecstatic dance around with headphones in the forest…with a smoke machine…. Too much?

All of these have sat at the meeting table with me, and I’ve requested they stay, but not stay pressing. They have a space, to get comfortable, I’ll be available for them soon. But not right now. My capacity isn’t there.

Your ideas will honour your seasons.

They know where you are at and what you need in the next step.
Often it wont make sense. Often it wont be what the latest business guru would advise.

But there’s something incredibly wholesome in spirit led business.

A devotion to the creative path.

Even when it comes to substack - My presence here feels guided for me. It’s not just showing up to an app and clicking publish.

To me, It feels important to be here, and the whisper says “It’s for so much more than you think it is”.

I asked for my substack presence to nourish my family financially. To nourish my spirit creatively, and to nourish the community of mother makers so that they could connect deeper with their own ideas and be able to nourish themselves and their families too.

It’s happening.

Though the whisper keeps telling me “It’s much more than you currently think it is. Just keep going”

So when I post in notes - I trust it is my natural next step.

If a note gets no views. I trust that.

If it goes semi substack viral… I trust that… Then if it leads to someone in my inbox who saw the viral note, who is now requesting a collaboration. I trust that. I trust my connections, the networks, I trust that when I get an idea about an article topic - that that must be the exact article I need to write at this exact time. I trust the words exactly as they come.

I trust whoever is supposed to read it will. I trust my journey here and that it’s building into something that will eventually lead me to be able to open a creative space for families… and fund many other creative visions for the community of mother makers.

I trust myself to keep showing up. When the whisper said it’s time to stop being inconsistent in this space and to dive deep into learning what’s possible here- I listened. Structure it whispered. Okay. I responded.

It’s all so connected, all so linked.

Even the day I left my surf shop job, jumping and then - being caught, was all building evidence to be able to trust my every move now. Trust the nudge. Trust the whisper and know that as long as I am clear on how I want to feel - the rest (honestly) will take care of itself.

Like I said - Whether magic is real or not, whether ideas actually guide us, or if it’s just ourselves guiding ourselves… it truly doesn’t matter as long as it helps us get out of our own way, step aside our own minds and limiting beliefs, and trust there’s something bigger at play. We are often so much more willing to show up for someone else than we are ourselves anyway.

If this way of relating to business, ideas and creativity interests you, and you’re a mother yourself… I’d love to invite you to come and take a look at The Art of Alchemy. My 10 week online journey for women. I opened the pilot program earlier this year and journeyed with 107 wonderful mother makers through business energetics, shadow work, creative blueprints, invitations, self sabotage, money, human design, soulful sales and social media and so much more.

Doors JUST opened and early bird ends soon so click the link below to see the full course, modules and if you want to come play.

Click here: Art of Alchemy

So much love,

Kat