These words definitely speak to something primal in me. It’s been “hard” to say the least, recently coming to terms with who I feel myself as in my heart — an all in, wild, passionate, honest, lit up, primal woman, beauty connoisseur …. and then recognize who the woman taking (in)action in day to day life.
The person that the world actually experiences. That my husband lives with, that my children love… a half woman, tired, wanting, unfocused, seeking clarity, begging for help outside of herself, full of contradiction… Ultimately not congruent and fucking exhausted of it, by it… watching these precious years tick by waiting for what? All the circumstances to magically change for me?
I want to release that version of me I can feel scratching at the walls, pinned deep deep deep down. See what happens. See what she has to say when I give her voice volume. See what burns, see what grows. Live in my magic once again. Love my life again, because it is an objectively beautiful existence I’ve built for myself. But what’s the purpose if I am just half living it and always pining for what is not right here.
enjoyed this piece of writing Kat, really made me think about the half parts of myself the unfinished ideas, infiished commitments, Thank you and hope you get a proper sleep in, & a full strength coffee soon.
After reading this I’m going to get in the car and drive to the beach with a stop on the way for an iced coffee because the beans I have at home are only half of what I want them too. And not complain and simply exist and run on the beavh with my children before I come home and make them home made pizza, put them to bed, the stay up to write on a substack post, the end.
Thanks for the inspiration to reclaim our lives in any single moment 🌙🤎
So deeply relatable. I’ve always been an all in kinda gal! All in, in my relationships, my friendships (to the point people find it a bit much at times I think), with business, with leaving the country I’d called home and moving to the other side of the world but over the last few months since our daughter arrived the daily grind and the wild sleep deprivation that has ached in my bones has lead me to being half in everywhere. Then the other day a very dear friend said to me…..have you tried high stretch ashwagandha?! Haha life changing! She also said….our babes only share our aura for the first 7 years, I ain’t going to miss a moment of play with my big girl (referring to her eldest). Something shifted in me and I’ve been all in with play (and everything else) since 🤍
Wow love this shift for you. Sometimes you just need an angel to pop their perspective head in and sprinkle some fairy dust over life again. Also Ashwagandha, I'm keen! About 6 weeks ago I introduced a Norwegian brain oil, iodine, a cell charge fulvic minerals, a homeopathic 2 drop a week hormone women's blend, and then this last week a native reishi and I am actually a WHOLE different woman. Like my cells have filled up from the inside and I'm happy as my natural state again.
Wow this made me cry in such a good way. It's amazing to me how us women are so okay with being a half. I kept trying to carve time to write out of the day and I just couldn't. Being home alone with an 8 month old requires me to be half everywhere all the time. How I pine for when my mind let's me do what I'm doing fully. To be with baby and not on my phone too. To cook and not clean... too. To love and not be distracted... too. This is so beautiful. Thank you for helping us feel seen as mothers. ❤️
Oh I so get it. And I know some seasons call for more of us to be in halves. 8 months is meaning you’ll always have one eye right wherever they are. And then they turn 5 and are happy to play while you… are fully two feet in drinking tea and staring out the window haha x
This needed to be said. Thank you for this medicine, Kat. I preach presence, but I know I have not been practising it lately. Hello half here 👋 but tomorrow is a new day! And I did manage to read this entire post ha!
I'm excited for the next cohort of AOA mothers, last year was 🔥🪄
AOA marked the beginning of a huge recalibration for me. There wasn't one big aha moment, but thousands of smaller realisations that continue to flow in the months following, and looking back I've gone through quite a transformation. Great to finally hang out in the flesh today xx
I needed to read this tonight. After two big weeks of work, I caught myself today, on a Saturday, completely lost. Unable to enjoy or relax or be present. My mind racing, my body restless. I couldn’t be there for my daughter or my husband fully because I’m not all there. I need some time alone, to recalibrate, write, meditate, breathe.
Ohhh Rafi what a little legend! Gotta dance mama, I’ve got a wild little dancer, so I can’t get away with not dancing either, such a blessing.
I know all these halves well (most of my life), thankfully I’m in an all-in season right now, edgy and unfamiliar and delightful.
It’s cliché AF but when I don’t meditate every day I feel only half alive, and this bleeds into all (in)actions. I wish I was one of those people who doesn’t meditate and is light and joyful but that just ain’t me, unless I meditate. So devotion to my loves and pleasures begins with this every day discipline.
Can relate so much to that. Even 20 minutes in the morning to meditate sets me up for the day. It invites life into ceremony. Where are you based mama?
Mate, if I get that second medi in, I’m superhuman. But one a day is enough to keep me resilient and attuned to the beautiful subtleties of my body’s language.
Every word of this. So deeply resonate and the exact message I needed today 🔥
These words definitely speak to something primal in me. It’s been “hard” to say the least, recently coming to terms with who I feel myself as in my heart — an all in, wild, passionate, honest, lit up, primal woman, beauty connoisseur …. and then recognize who the woman taking (in)action in day to day life.
The person that the world actually experiences. That my husband lives with, that my children love… a half woman, tired, wanting, unfocused, seeking clarity, begging for help outside of herself, full of contradiction… Ultimately not congruent and fucking exhausted of it, by it… watching these precious years tick by waiting for what? All the circumstances to magically change for me?
I want to release that version of me I can feel scratching at the walls, pinned deep deep deep down. See what happens. See what she has to say when I give her voice volume. See what burns, see what grows. Live in my magic once again. Love my life again, because it is an objectively beautiful existence I’ve built for myself. But what’s the purpose if I am just half living it and always pining for what is not right here.
Okay I'm not even half way in but pre bleed Kats way of writing is definitely stirring something very nicely within me hahaha
Ahah babe I love you! And also I’ve been doing tea ceremony more at 8am than 6am lately loool, because kiddo is keeping me awake all bloody night 😂
But also proud that I actually got you to come to tea once with me, at 5:30am!!
I will always remember that day!
enjoyed this piece of writing Kat, really made me think about the half parts of myself the unfinished ideas, infiished commitments, Thank you and hope you get a proper sleep in, & a full strength coffee soon.
Would like to report I woke up, then went back to bed for an hour and had a full strength coffee at 8.30 and now feeling amazing haha!
“Devotion isn’t a half dose thing.
It’s a woman, going all in. “
STUNNING.
After reading this I’m going to get in the car and drive to the beach with a stop on the way for an iced coffee because the beans I have at home are only half of what I want them too. And not complain and simply exist and run on the beavh with my children before I come home and make them home made pizza, put them to bed, the stay up to write on a substack post, the end.
Thanks for the inspiration to reclaim our lives in any single moment 🌙🤎
Hahahha sounds like a great day!
Thanks for the encouragement beautiful mumma❤️❤️
I’ve definitely been halfing all over the place. Thank you for this reflection.
You are so welcome. Thank you for reading x
So deeply relatable. I’ve always been an all in kinda gal! All in, in my relationships, my friendships (to the point people find it a bit much at times I think), with business, with leaving the country I’d called home and moving to the other side of the world but over the last few months since our daughter arrived the daily grind and the wild sleep deprivation that has ached in my bones has lead me to being half in everywhere. Then the other day a very dear friend said to me…..have you tried high stretch ashwagandha?! Haha life changing! She also said….our babes only share our aura for the first 7 years, I ain’t going to miss a moment of play with my big girl (referring to her eldest). Something shifted in me and I’ve been all in with play (and everything else) since 🤍
Wow love this shift for you. Sometimes you just need an angel to pop their perspective head in and sprinkle some fairy dust over life again. Also Ashwagandha, I'm keen! About 6 weeks ago I introduced a Norwegian brain oil, iodine, a cell charge fulvic minerals, a homeopathic 2 drop a week hormone women's blend, and then this last week a native reishi and I am actually a WHOLE different woman. Like my cells have filled up from the inside and I'm happy as my natural state again.
I felt like you wrote this just for me. If I wasn't already signed up for AoA, I would sign up immediately! I'm ready to be all in. Thank you! 💕
Hahaha I appreciate your feedback! Thanks for reading beautiful woman! Can't wait to start in a few more days xxx
Wow this made me cry in such a good way. It's amazing to me how us women are so okay with being a half. I kept trying to carve time to write out of the day and I just couldn't. Being home alone with an 8 month old requires me to be half everywhere all the time. How I pine for when my mind let's me do what I'm doing fully. To be with baby and not on my phone too. To cook and not clean... too. To love and not be distracted... too. This is so beautiful. Thank you for helping us feel seen as mothers. ❤️
Oh I so get it. And I know some seasons call for more of us to be in halves. 8 months is meaning you’ll always have one eye right wherever they are. And then they turn 5 and are happy to play while you… are fully two feet in drinking tea and staring out the window haha x
This needed to be said. Thank you for this medicine, Kat. I preach presence, but I know I have not been practising it lately. Hello half here 👋 but tomorrow is a new day! And I did manage to read this entire post ha!
I'm excited for the next cohort of AOA mothers, last year was 🔥🪄
Ah tomorrow is a new day. We are in it together. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment here saying hi! Appreciate you.
How have you been since AOA?? I’m excited too. Only 5 more days.
AOA marked the beginning of a huge recalibration for me. There wasn't one big aha moment, but thousands of smaller realisations that continue to flow in the months following, and looking back I've gone through quite a transformation. Great to finally hang out in the flesh today xx
Honestly love this so much and so good to meet IRL today!
This! All of it! How lucky the women of AOA are going to be! A conscious choice is a world that would keep us split in half. 🥹😍
I needed to read this tonight. After two big weeks of work, I caught myself today, on a Saturday, completely lost. Unable to enjoy or relax or be present. My mind racing, my body restless. I couldn’t be there for my daughter or my husband fully because I’m not all there. I need some time alone, to recalibrate, write, meditate, breathe.
Totally mama and fair enough too. It’s the process of catching ourselves and rerouting. That’s the art
Don’t be half in…….yes actually why am I being okay with a half living in my own life?!!?
Well, it’s definitely not scary/ uncomfortable/ stretchy (though totally is in other ways!)
Ohhh Rafi what a little legend! Gotta dance mama, I’ve got a wild little dancer, so I can’t get away with not dancing either, such a blessing.
I know all these halves well (most of my life), thankfully I’m in an all-in season right now, edgy and unfamiliar and delightful.
It’s cliché AF but when I don’t meditate every day I feel only half alive, and this bleeds into all (in)actions. I wish I was one of those people who doesn’t meditate and is light and joyful but that just ain’t me, unless I meditate. So devotion to my loves and pleasures begins with this every day discipline.
Love your work mama 💜
Can relate so much to that. Even 20 minutes in the morning to meditate sets me up for the day. It invites life into ceremony. Where are you based mama?
Mate, if I get that second medi in, I’m superhuman. But one a day is enough to keep me resilient and attuned to the beautiful subtleties of my body’s language.
I’m in Northern Rivers, Mullumbimby
Just looking at your bio. Surely 2/4 in HD? Hermit who loves people haha relatable.
5/2 😉