55 Comments

Ahh what a breath of fresh air hearing that the snippet drop ins getting quickly scribble into the phone notes isn’t uncommon. As a photographer I often find myself getting burn out from simply having SO much inspiration drop in, yet such little space to excerpt it. Same goes with the words dropping into my brain constantly.. yet how is it getting to the long forms here when the little hands and voices are constantly taking me somewhere else!?! It will happen more slowly! But bringing light to the fact we are allowed to work around our children AND in presence of them is so important!! Giving every mother the permission to get the words out, to simply better their being as a mother 🤍

Expand full comment

Ah I can only imagine the extra organisation it takes as a photographer. It's beyond phone notes haha! A whole production of sorts.

I love what you've shared here. It can still happen, just slower. AND normalise working around our children. It all comes down to language, boundaries and expectations in my experience. When we have "quiet time" each day he often watches little bear, and I "work" next to him for 45 minutes. I call it my "quiet time" too. Not that I overly value screentime. If anything I'd prefer none. But based on our lifestyle and things we want to do - I can't expect him to not ask for screentime though see me on my phone or laptop. So we create a container. Do it together. Weirdly more connection that way both snuggled in bed.

Then we both switch off, and go play.

Expand full comment

Yes yes yes! This is how I work too – R’s nap time is my work time while little miss often watches half a show before heading back out to play. After lots of communication when she was little around mamas work time, she values this just as much and often never disturbs that time. Of course we honour when things need to look different. I found a lot of my prcrption changed after listening to one of the aware parenting podcast in allowing them to see us work in our genius zones to normalise the new age of digitised work, for one day it could be them..

Expand full comment

I recently discovered that I tend to “write” poetry when I’m out on a run. Maybe something about the cadence lends itself to verse and rhyme?

My 24 month old is still mostly taking two naps so I use that time to write and/or clean. We also have a babysitter several mornings a week and sometimes I’ll go to a coffee shop and do more of my multitasking- answering emails, figuring out my writing schedule, getting a draft done.

The weird thing about being a new mom is I feel more creative than ever- figuring out what ideas and projects to prioritize with my limited time is the biggest challenge. I tend to vacillate between them given my level of enthusiasm or if I have a deadline I’ll focus there.

It’s definitely a dance and I’m not as present with my kiddo as I wish I could be. It’s a practice and I definitely ask myself- in moments of distraction when I’m on my phone- where am I trying to go? What am I escaping in this moment?

I feel grateful to other mamas for being here and taking up space, sharing their own journey.

Expand full comment

Love reading your musings here, thank you!

Ah I loved the two naps a day phase haha!

And yes to a babysitter to create space. Good on you mama. It’s the practice of priority. I find that part challenging too. Right now it’s easy because it’s just go and write... but there are so many other ideas/events I want to make. Those have to wait. Xx

Expand full comment

I’m still adjusting to this new way of writing, as my eight month old settles into a new routine. I used to try and achieve word counts when she was barely three months old and it just made me miserable. I now write in 25 minute chunks when she’s either at nursery or being looked after and use those little five or ten minutes here and there for jotting ideas down into my phone or connecting with other writers on Substack. I’m still bad when it comes to mindless social media scrolling, but social media is part of my job too so it’s hard to just tap into a system that is designed to keep you there for as long as possible! If anyone has advice about that, I’d love to know!

Expand full comment

I can relate with the social media stuff - It's apart of my work and my husband, Tully's and it's too easy to get sucked in. On our best days we say "None before 9" aka no phones before 9am / social media. And we switch off at an agreed time in the evenings - because if we say it's a work thing, then we gotta treat it that way. In saying that - I'm so here for a good ol' reel binge and there are many times we are scrolling laughing together on the couch. I haven't mastered it. The only way for me is to have time offline. I think that's why substack has felt so supportive - Because my time here is a lot more intentional.

Expand full comment

Oh gosh, I love this post, and love seeing everyone else's experiences in the comments. This resonates with me so much. I have often moaned about the fact that I can't often put aside a day, or even a chunk of hours, to write anymore, and it does feel stressful always feeling short on time. But on the other hand, only having those pockets of 10 minutes here and there forces me to be more productive than I would've been if I'd had days. I have to push aside my perfectionist tendencies and the self-doubt but I've got to get something down in 10 minutes and it just has to be DONE. So it gets done. I've felt more of a drive to write since becoming a mother, even though I have less time, energy and headspace, but the challenge of needing to find those pockets of time forces me to actually find them and get stuff down on paper (or keyboard).

Expand full comment

SO So hear you on that. A quote that often swims in my mind is "Done is better than perfect, done is better than perfect." I actually often rarely fully edit a post before sharing. Maybe that's breaking all the writer rules i'm unsure. But it simply is what it is. Let it be messy haha!

Expand full comment

This is refreshing. Thank you for giving us a peek behind the curtain.

I resonate with what you said about being present with your three year old sparking your creative ideas. Just yesterday, I had the idea for my essay while I was deep in the moment at the park with the kids.

Having a system in Notion and Google Docs helps me organize random thoughts into categories. I have one that I’m going to use right now and a huge brain dump of things to read through later when I have more time but not a clear idea of what to write.

Part of my process is having my partner read and critique things before I post. I always thought that other writers must have tons of friends they can send pieces to before sharing but I’m learning that most of us feel pretty alone in it. I’d love to someday find more peers to reciprocally edit.

Expand full comment

I would love to be a part of a group to give feedback on different pieces of writing! I’m fairly fresh to bringing my written words out in the world so if there would be a group of women open for that, I’m here for it!

Expand full comment

@claire Venus who’s shared above, has cowork sessions!

Expand full comment

I’m low key hoping someone here has the space to make and guide it as I don’t have the capacity just yet... haha but otherwise joining a cowork session will be perfect

Expand full comment

OH I really love that last part also - Like having a mini brainstrust of other writers and even once a week all sharing pieces and offering feedback privately before publishing. I have seen some co-working opportunities here on substack also that look fun too.

Expand full comment

Can definitely relate to your way of creating !

I used to do it even pre babies but now it’s in the car for nap time. I love it, especially during the winter. I watched a few storms at smiths and castle rock over the years, alongside some stunning sunny days and now I have a couple of favourites here too. It’s always journaling and observing. I used to often spot whales and dolphins and unusual birds and it always feels so magic!

Excited for you to be in this space too! And writing in a nice place with a nice view always brings up some sort of inspiration for something 🥰

Expand full comment

Wow!! Thanks so much for sharing and writing this up Kat.

I am SO happy to see us owning the space in between what folks might think polished writing process should look like. Our guest posts on company of two take less than 30 mins to post because of the systems we have in place. More than that because we feel the honest words of mums knee deep in early years must be shared so we built a structure to do it in.

So many of our threads are here and then gone again, lost in over thinking or imposter syndrome or worry and one thing I’ve learnt there is so much inspiration in just showing up in the space parallel with motherhood. Guess who’ll always be proud no matter what? Our kids. It makes it easier for me to quiet all the other voices when I write just for them.

Sending you so many well wishes for your next motherhood phase. So glad to have crossed paths. ✨⭕️

Expand full comment

Ah thank you for your comment beautiful! And I love that you’re sharing pieces from other mothers and giving them a stage to share also. I think it’s so so great and also, important.

There’s something really damn special when mothers come together!

Expand full comment

Love this! Thanks for sharing the realness of mothers who create and write...I also fit in pockets, tske quick notes on my phone so I can attempt to further my thoughts on them at a later time. I have a running record document where I just brain dump...I’d love it ti be daily but it doesn’t always happen...then I can go through and edit later, most of my ideas honestly come through my daily moments with my children so keeping pen and paper handy to jot things down also helps

Expand full comment

Yes yes it’s a beautiful season for this type of creativity! I know more time will come later but for now... it’s me and my notes 😂

Expand full comment

Absolutely! 😅💕

Expand full comment

I love reading these shares and have had many a moment of "I wish I heard that when my son was young". Although my son is nearly a man now and I can allocate intentional time to creating more freely (still working on that lol), I am reassured by this convo to still honour the in between spaces and the dance of life's inspirations. x

Expand full comment

I love this, I think it's empowering to know the reality of writing whilst making space for all the things you need and want to invest time, energy and love into. The reality of some days is grabbing moments to make notes on your phone or note book like you say and other times allowing it to be more intentional. It's life, and wanting to write, put words down, make space for creativity feels so good. It's important to know that it doesn't need to always be seperate from all the other parts of your life. Thanks for sharing this Kat 🙏

Expand full comment

Ah thank you for your comment here. It’s life- that’s it. Kids or no kids, we have to make time for what’s important to us! Xxx

Expand full comment

I am a mother to be so I cannot fully grasp what mothering and writing is like. And still, I realised that tending to my creativity is part of the journey to motherhood. Tending to my creative garden is the soil for fertility. Apple notes or short voice memos in between work meetings or on the go when creativity hits me, I tend to write longer posts at night with an idea and don’t stop until all is “on paper”. Writing has helped me connect with myself on a deeper level, overcome burnout and navigate life. It’s a non negotiable like brushing teeth. ☀️

Expand full comment

And the longer posts at night- is where the magic happens haha! Congrats on the impending motherhood xx

Expand full comment

I love that, you’ll find your relationship to it all recalibrates once baby is in arms, but the essence is still there. It can’t not be done. The nourishment so we can also nourish our babes

Expand full comment

Yes it cannot not be done ✨it’s nourishment four ourselves so we can nourish others too

Expand full comment

It's comforting to read that I'm not the only one who snatches pockets of time to tap thoughts into my notes app. It's become something of a journal for me!

Expand full comment

I think mother makers are a different breed 😂 look at us go

Expand full comment

Yes, the every day moments of presence with my children is often where I get the best whispers of ideas. I take notes either on my phone or in a notebook throughout the day. Often when driving I will put the voice recorder on and speak half formed essays into my phone - I use an app to transcribe the audio and then late at night I will edit and turn into my longer pieces of prose and poetry. But there are many days where I sit down next to my children as they play or draw or read and I pull out my notebook or watercolors and work as I sit with them. Some days they want to write or create too, and we will create together. I try to get a few hours alone each month to record some spoken word or a podcast episode but often I do that in the middle of the night too.

Expand full comment

Oh I love that you use audio then transcribe and edit. Some of my best work has come from driving or the shower haha! And I love the practicality of you sharing about pulling out your notebook while they draw - as it’s not a screen! I’ll implement that more I think.

Expand full comment

Thank you for bringing this special light on motherhood. It resonates deeply with me, the waves of inspiration while mothering were hard to grasp (now I’m 2 years in). What really works for me is knowing how my cyclical essence aligns to my creativity and to be devoted to myself when the inspiration hits. It took clear communication to my partner of why I sometimes just have to grab my phone and type out my heart. Now he knows, and he’s so supportive of it all. What works too is using an app to organise my notes so that i can come back at it later (wauw time saver!! And I love structure now!)

Also knowing that when I create space for nourishing me, even while taking care of my girl, is nourishing her and the whole of the family. So important to stay truthful to yourself so you don’t forget about yourself.

Thank you for this post kat & also for all women sharing their mama creative ways! So inspiring

Expand full comment

Ah yes! Did you notice a big shift when you began bleeding cyclically again?

Can do relate to my partner knowing what’s up “babe, I need to write. I’ll be 10 minutes just gotta get it out of my head”

Haha

I must know this app! I’m learning within motherhood, structure is a friend and though the mess can also be romantasised ... if it’s one thing I’ve learned “there is freedom within the structure”

Expand full comment

Yes I definitely felt different as the integration of motherhood made me doubt how to actually make space for me again, as I literally felt so protective and in love with being with my daughter. I had to do a lot of reflecting on integrating the cyclical living I knew with being a mother (it’s a subject for a post I guess!!)

And yes this app is golden!! I use Notion, you heard of it? I was so upset with having to look through all my notes for half an hour to find what I was looking for. Now it doesn’t take any more than 2 min! If you like to receive a video where I show the structure that works for me? Let me know!

Expand full comment

I’d love that! Hellokatriver@gmail.com

Notion seems like something I gotta get into asap! Thank you!

Expand full comment

Will make you a video over the weekend! If anyone else of the community wants to receive this, share your email here! More than happy to share!

Expand full comment

What a great idea to continue this conversation here. Part of the reason I have a newsletter is to share the reality of daily home life. I think we imagine too much of what other people’s experiences are and place ourselves against an unreal ideal. It’s nice to do this with our creative practices too.

Expand full comment

Yes, We imagine so much. And look, I'm all for the fantasies of A clean work desk, a full uninterrupted day to write, the most delicious chai of my life... A big beautiful view out the window. Wearing something that has me feeling "on". Reality- Surrounded by toys, dishes, in an oversized tshirt, hair up... Mediocre chai. hahha.

Expand full comment

Hi Kat, it’s lovely to find you via Lauren, your words and way of working resonate deeply!

I have found having two little ones all-consuming and to be honest felt the push/pull of needing space but also wanting closeness with them. I am only in recent months finding I am able to find some clarity in my thoughts and have the energy to act on them.

For the time that I wasn’t able to proactively be creative, I tried to adopt a creative mindset so going about things in an imaginative way and finding beauty around us (often in the in-between moments like lighting a candle at breakfast time).

Now I have access to slightly more (but still unpredictable) time/space on my own, I am able to find some time to focus and find it very fulfilling. However, mostly I’m thinking/writing around the edges of mothering, in moments that they are occupied or asleep (it always takes precedence over anything else which is probably why I don’t get anything else done!) and I have softened to the way it is for this phase of my life. There is still time...!

Love to all of us writing in dark corners/strange hours/with babes in arms! xx

Expand full comment

Hi and welcome to my little cosy corner here haha!

I really resonate with what you've shared on adopting a creative mindset in the in between moments. I really relied on that too in the times where I couldn't be "active" in my creativity in the sense of "production" but instead more "passive" in the way I received and curated beautiful moments of life. Tending to the creative embers, inbetween bursts. I think it's important that you shared that as it's often a life line for creative mothers to still feel like the thread is connected to them in some way regardless of capacity. Love to all of us, writing in dark corners, strange hours, with babes in arms. Yes

Expand full comment

Ah thank you for your thoughts. Yes I think that's it, still feeling connected to a thread of inspiration/beauty/community feels important to me.

Expand full comment