We are currently designing a move to Bali, and though there are aspects of us that will feel new (new country, style of homes, access to wellness, and being around different sorts of conversations), the roots come in due to having traveled to bali a lot in our pre kids era, it comes into projects we will take on there in the world of eco biophilic design, business projects, and following interests that we've held since childhood. Rafi learning Indonesian - As I learned Indonesian as a kid growing up in a predominantly Malay based school. The tropics. Etc
I grew up on the Mornington Peninsula, VIC and we moved up to Burleigh Heads for a year when my daughter was one. After having my second child up there it felt he wanted to be birthed there but a few months later we moved back home. I don’t know what I’m saying except that I really felt this piece, on so many levels. I had a psychic say to me it’s even more about coming back to the land, even more than all of the people too! Like the lay lines missed me and it made me cry! I had 30 ppl over this morning for playgroup and it makes me feel so me as even though I only had one sister growing up was always surrounded by big extended family, friends who were always referred to as “cousins”... and just feeling such a deep call for my kids to have that. Thankyou for these words I loved them and will be re-reading ✨🕊️
I have lived in Montana, USA, for almost thirty years now. I live on large acreage with a killer view of a mountain range and wild animals crossing the property daily. The sunrises and sunsets stun me. And yet...there's an odd disconnect. I watch a television show called Bosch on Amazon Prime. It's a show about a police detective. The show takes place in Los Angeles, where I also spent 30 years...my entire childhood included. There are lots of scenes of people driving around Los Angeles in this show and although ugly in comparison to where I live now, it draws me back and there is something comforting about it. This Christmas I missed my parents, the house I grew up in in Los Angeles, the Christmases I experienced there...more than usual. I looked at my tree and transported myself back to myself as a young girl, and knew that the young girl was still residing within me. I don't remember a lot about who my mother actually was. My parents didn't really communicate well and were both alcoholics. There were no sharing of stories. Because of this I know nothing about how either parents experienced their own lives....as adults or as children. So I have really tried to provide that for my own children (all adults now) and I've thought of writing it down. I have written about a lot of it, but now the childhood memories which would be important only to them. Your post reminds me to do that.
I absolutely loved reading this, it is so beautiful to learn of your deep roots and your family — I really got to FEEL you and the pieces of your glorious puzzle. I have lived in North London all of my life and feel deeply rooted here. I had a phase in my late 20s/early 30s of newness in terms of food and lifestyle which although very virtuous on paper did not serve me and my system well. As soon as I became pregnant, I craved nostalgia, childhood comforts and feelings of home and as I raise our two children, this draw to my roots has remained.
I also loved what you said about parenting in our true essence (with awareness) rather than purely replicating things we have heard we should do, however well-intended. Thank you for this beautiful, thoughtful and heartfelt post Kat xx
I loved that part about parenting in our essence too. There have been times when I’ve tried the gentle parenting scripts and various techniques you see all over the internet now and it’s always sounded like someone else speaking from my tongue and it’s NEVER once worked with my children.
Yes for sure. Any attempt at validating my nearly 4 year old daughter’s feelings as per the scripts is met with shouts of “STOPPPPP! Go away mummy!” 🤪 most often it is just the space that is required and the hugs after! xx
Thank you for exploring this balance. Running away, which we all must do at some point metaphorically, and starting fresh can bring a disconnect. Like most anything, it's a quest for harmony between one's Roots and one's curiosity of the New.
I miss our old 1940's Colonial home that we moved from, although I complained SO much about the cold drafts in winter and those squeaky wood floors! But the big, shady Pecan tree and bike ride distance to the coffee shop... (sigh). There was a disconnect for me there - that particular city and overall community was not the vibe I envisioned for myself and my unit's future. Connection did not flow in the way I needed.
I craved being closer to nature and exposing the kids to a more outdoor lifestyle. A nurturing, non-competitive schooling environment was critical. We moved. I love it. Almost!! Haha. Will I always be looking ahead? Maybe. The house is modern and spacious, just how I thought I wanted. But it will take a lot for it to feel like home. Perhaps life needs to occur here for the sterility to fade away.
The community and nature aspect is great. And I am so thankful. But we moved farther from family, and the house is cold in a different way with its pristine white walls and high ceilings.
Your piece has allowed me to reflect that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. It is good here. Roots will intentionally be weaved in. Art from my culture. More family visits to host. More cooking, game nights, movie nights. More laughter. More mess. Animals!
Listening to the knowing, within the factors we are dealt, is very very important. We are always being guided to where we are meant to be. Even if we get whiplash from how quick those stops turn out sometimes, especially once kids are in tow!
Love love love love. I feel like I’ve tricked myself into thinking that I’ve snipped my roots and bailed but really all that’s happened is I’ve tried to control how I grow !? And then when I come back to myself I’m like “it’s cool I made a square apple but idk if I’m gonna do that again”
That’s a lot of plant metaphors but i liked it lol
Thank you so much for sharing this topic in such beautifully relatable writing. I think this is major and so important to find the balance and intergration - as so many of us live away from our family/ home towns, etc. I sometimes feel like I've not had my feet on the ground for the last 10 years throught my 20s as I've been searching for new parts of me, new ideas and places where & how I want to live. But, I feel like a lot of this has been in the external. Now, in my 30s, I've noticed something shift as, even though I still don't live somewhere that feels like 'home', I honor the 'home' inside of me - my roots, memories, comforts. However, whilst we create our new lives in new places, integrating our roots will definitely be a process and take many years to get into true rhythm xx
I have been going through so many of these similar feelings.
I grew up in an old house with antique furniture and chickens and a big veggie garden. But we also spent every holidays up north camping in the desert ocean or as we got older, the tropics.
I’ve always felt so at odds with my two distinct parts, cottage-core fairy crunchy mum and tropical surfer island woman! I’ve been lucky to live out both of these with my boys so far. But of all the many lives I’ve lived and the places I’ve been pre kids these two are the ones that pull me back the most. The smell of lemon scented gums and the wildness of Western Australia and deep greens of the tropics. My older niece just came and visited me here and said it was like seeing old Tansie, completely at home barefoot on the dirty ground, driving an absolute piece of shit 4WD down a crumbling jungle road quite at home!
I’m also one of 6 and we grew up with another family of 7 kids and one of 8 so I crave the business of children. We leave our gate open here and every afternoon the local kids wind up on our veranda colouring, playing with duplo or kicking the soccer ball and I love it.
Loved reading this because it brings up so many memories for me, from your mums snort to your pop on the tennis court 😂 and gosh we had some fun on that waterslide, that would be something I hope to recreate for my kids too.
Love it!
It’s also very nice to think about this. We’ve been thinking about what we truly want. Blake and I had very different upbringings but the same values so it’s an interesting and enjoyable process bringing it all together. We are shifting more off of socials and more into the 3D to inform us of what we want and don’t want and how we live. More into feeling how things actually feel for us and not what somebody else said we should do or how we should think. ❤️
Such a timely piece for me to read as our family embarks on our move from my fathers home ( the home I grew up in) in the Southern Highlands to the Northern Rivers in just 2 weeks time. I just woke up at 4 am and went to the bathroom and the moon is full and I was drawn to the back porch and sat with the cats in the silence soaking in the frogs, birds and landscape sounds of my childhood. Memories of laying my head on the sill of my window and sleeping with half my head out the window on warm summer nights so I could be as close to the “ outside world” as possible and drink it in before sleep. Nostalgia and grief at leaving this place of my childhood.
Excitement and trepidation, will we miss living with family? Evenings with my daughter and her Bert Pa ( grandfather) chasing the chooks around the backyard to get them into their pen before night. The inbuilt support of having family to lean on. I also know we will revel in the freedom of not sharing space with others and having our own home to create, we need the space. Holding space for so many experiences and emotions in the process of moving.
The healing has been done here so now it’s time to grow and flourish. I resonate so much with bringing our roots with us and also creating new stories and memories for our families without disconnecting from the life that has made us who we are, for ourselves and our families x x to creating new memories and adding to the kaleidoscope of life
We are currently designing a move to Bali, and though there are aspects of us that will feel new (new country, style of homes, access to wellness, and being around different sorts of conversations), the roots come in due to having traveled to bali a lot in our pre kids era, it comes into projects we will take on there in the world of eco biophilic design, business projects, and following interests that we've held since childhood. Rafi learning Indonesian - As I learned Indonesian as a kid growing up in a predominantly Malay based school. The tropics. Etc
Oh babe. So much resonance in this piece ✨
I grew up on the Mornington Peninsula, VIC and we moved up to Burleigh Heads for a year when my daughter was one. After having my second child up there it felt he wanted to be birthed there but a few months later we moved back home. I don’t know what I’m saying except that I really felt this piece, on so many levels. I had a psychic say to me it’s even more about coming back to the land, even more than all of the people too! Like the lay lines missed me and it made me cry! I had 30 ppl over this morning for playgroup and it makes me feel so me as even though I only had one sister growing up was always surrounded by big extended family, friends who were always referred to as “cousins”... and just feeling such a deep call for my kids to have that. Thankyou for these words I loved them and will be re-reading ✨🕊️
The laylines missed me! Yes! I love that xxx
I have lived in Montana, USA, for almost thirty years now. I live on large acreage with a killer view of a mountain range and wild animals crossing the property daily. The sunrises and sunsets stun me. And yet...there's an odd disconnect. I watch a television show called Bosch on Amazon Prime. It's a show about a police detective. The show takes place in Los Angeles, where I also spent 30 years...my entire childhood included. There are lots of scenes of people driving around Los Angeles in this show and although ugly in comparison to where I live now, it draws me back and there is something comforting about it. This Christmas I missed my parents, the house I grew up in in Los Angeles, the Christmases I experienced there...more than usual. I looked at my tree and transported myself back to myself as a young girl, and knew that the young girl was still residing within me. I don't remember a lot about who my mother actually was. My parents didn't really communicate well and were both alcoholics. There were no sharing of stories. Because of this I know nothing about how either parents experienced their own lives....as adults or as children. So I have really tried to provide that for my own children (all adults now) and I've thought of writing it down. I have written about a lot of it, but now the childhood memories which would be important only to them. Your post reminds me to do that.
I absolutely loved reading this, it is so beautiful to learn of your deep roots and your family — I really got to FEEL you and the pieces of your glorious puzzle. I have lived in North London all of my life and feel deeply rooted here. I had a phase in my late 20s/early 30s of newness in terms of food and lifestyle which although very virtuous on paper did not serve me and my system well. As soon as I became pregnant, I craved nostalgia, childhood comforts and feelings of home and as I raise our two children, this draw to my roots has remained.
I also loved what you said about parenting in our true essence (with awareness) rather than purely replicating things we have heard we should do, however well-intended. Thank you for this beautiful, thoughtful and heartfelt post Kat xx
I loved that part about parenting in our essence too. There have been times when I’ve tried the gentle parenting scripts and various techniques you see all over the internet now and it’s always sounded like someone else speaking from my tongue and it’s NEVER once worked with my children.
Yes for sure. Any attempt at validating my nearly 4 year old daughter’s feelings as per the scripts is met with shouts of “STOPPPPP! Go away mummy!” 🤪 most often it is just the space that is required and the hugs after! xx
Haha yep feel that! 💛
When I reach for my roots, I can't find anything there...maybe a numb feeling.
I should probably get that unblocked.
Thank you for exploring this balance. Running away, which we all must do at some point metaphorically, and starting fresh can bring a disconnect. Like most anything, it's a quest for harmony between one's Roots and one's curiosity of the New.
I miss our old 1940's Colonial home that we moved from, although I complained SO much about the cold drafts in winter and those squeaky wood floors! But the big, shady Pecan tree and bike ride distance to the coffee shop... (sigh). There was a disconnect for me there - that particular city and overall community was not the vibe I envisioned for myself and my unit's future. Connection did not flow in the way I needed.
I craved being closer to nature and exposing the kids to a more outdoor lifestyle. A nurturing, non-competitive schooling environment was critical. We moved. I love it. Almost!! Haha. Will I always be looking ahead? Maybe. The house is modern and spacious, just how I thought I wanted. But it will take a lot for it to feel like home. Perhaps life needs to occur here for the sterility to fade away.
The community and nature aspect is great. And I am so thankful. But we moved farther from family, and the house is cold in a different way with its pristine white walls and high ceilings.
Your piece has allowed me to reflect that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. It is good here. Roots will intentionally be weaved in. Art from my culture. More family visits to host. More cooking, game nights, movie nights. More laughter. More mess. Animals!
Listening to the knowing, within the factors we are dealt, is very very important. We are always being guided to where we are meant to be. Even if we get whiplash from how quick those stops turn out sometimes, especially once kids are in tow!
Love love love love. I feel like I’ve tricked myself into thinking that I’ve snipped my roots and bailed but really all that’s happened is I’ve tried to control how I grow !? And then when I come back to myself I’m like “it’s cool I made a square apple but idk if I’m gonna do that again”
That’s a lot of plant metaphors but i liked it lol
Thank you so much for sharing this topic in such beautifully relatable writing. I think this is major and so important to find the balance and intergration - as so many of us live away from our family/ home towns, etc. I sometimes feel like I've not had my feet on the ground for the last 10 years throught my 20s as I've been searching for new parts of me, new ideas and places where & how I want to live. But, I feel like a lot of this has been in the external. Now, in my 30s, I've noticed something shift as, even though I still don't live somewhere that feels like 'home', I honor the 'home' inside of me - my roots, memories, comforts. However, whilst we create our new lives in new places, integrating our roots will definitely be a process and take many years to get into true rhythm xx
I have been going through so many of these similar feelings.
I grew up in an old house with antique furniture and chickens and a big veggie garden. But we also spent every holidays up north camping in the desert ocean or as we got older, the tropics.
I’ve always felt so at odds with my two distinct parts, cottage-core fairy crunchy mum and tropical surfer island woman! I’ve been lucky to live out both of these with my boys so far. But of all the many lives I’ve lived and the places I’ve been pre kids these two are the ones that pull me back the most. The smell of lemon scented gums and the wildness of Western Australia and deep greens of the tropics. My older niece just came and visited me here and said it was like seeing old Tansie, completely at home barefoot on the dirty ground, driving an absolute piece of shit 4WD down a crumbling jungle road quite at home!
I’m also one of 6 and we grew up with another family of 7 kids and one of 8 so I crave the business of children. We leave our gate open here and every afternoon the local kids wind up on our veranda colouring, playing with duplo or kicking the soccer ball and I love it.
Loved reading this because it brings up so many memories for me, from your mums snort to your pop on the tennis court 😂 and gosh we had some fun on that waterslide, that would be something I hope to recreate for my kids too.
Love it!
It’s also very nice to think about this. We’ve been thinking about what we truly want. Blake and I had very different upbringings but the same values so it’s an interesting and enjoyable process bringing it all together. We are shifting more off of socials and more into the 3D to inform us of what we want and don’t want and how we live. More into feeling how things actually feel for us and not what somebody else said we should do or how we should think. ❤️
Such a timely piece for me to read as our family embarks on our move from my fathers home ( the home I grew up in) in the Southern Highlands to the Northern Rivers in just 2 weeks time. I just woke up at 4 am and went to the bathroom and the moon is full and I was drawn to the back porch and sat with the cats in the silence soaking in the frogs, birds and landscape sounds of my childhood. Memories of laying my head on the sill of my window and sleeping with half my head out the window on warm summer nights so I could be as close to the “ outside world” as possible and drink it in before sleep. Nostalgia and grief at leaving this place of my childhood.
Excitement and trepidation, will we miss living with family? Evenings with my daughter and her Bert Pa ( grandfather) chasing the chooks around the backyard to get them into their pen before night. The inbuilt support of having family to lean on. I also know we will revel in the freedom of not sharing space with others and having our own home to create, we need the space. Holding space for so many experiences and emotions in the process of moving.
The healing has been done here so now it’s time to grow and flourish. I resonate so much with bringing our roots with us and also creating new stories and memories for our families without disconnecting from the life that has made us who we are, for ourselves and our families x x to creating new memories and adding to the kaleidoscope of life