11 Comments

Thanks for sharing honey. It’s such a process isn’t it. It’s taken us months and been such a slow process ... also been good for me to acknowledge the sadness and guilt that I’ve felt as a Mumma wanting to wean. The big turning point for us was me getting a therapy session about it, it helped me move through what was coming up for me and from that moment on he never asked for boob again at night. It was miraculous. We’re all so different in our journeys - honouring you in this time 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

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What a wild ride, this is so well written! Thank you for sharing this journey I loved reading it xx

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Oh mama thank you for sharing your experience as I’m dealing with the same situation with my almost 2 year old. Finding the balance of wanting to feel my body as my own & at the same time, not fully feeling ready to stop BF. I’m finding that it is equally a process of grief for the mother as it is for the child.

I find it difficult too, being a stay at home mom. I feel like the weaning journey would be much easier to do if I wasn’t a SAHM since there is literally no other choice. But being a SAHM, having the freedom to BF whenever & wherever . . I almost feel like it’s become part of my identity and that stopping it would be devastating for me in the beginning. I think that may have something to do with a lot of SAHM & the weaning process.

Sometimes he will not even want to eat any food during the day and just want the boob. It’s very taxing on me. Are you BF on demand throughout the day or starting to limit it on the daily?

Much love to you and your beautiful family!

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Yeah I can so relate to what you’ve said.

We started with going from demand feeding whenever (and like you there were days it was primarily boob over food) and I found security in knowing that if he wasn’t eating heaps at least he was having milk.

Then he got bigger and my top was being pulled down all the time etc and I was like ok I need some boundaries around this during the day.

So we implemented only boobie for bed

And that meant in the morning in bed,

To sleep for naps, when he woke from a nap in bed, and obviously overnight.

That was hugely helpful and gave me space during the day and he began eating more too (of course)

Then it dropped to “just to sleep” so I stopped giving him milk on wake-up from his day nap.

So now he feeds 3x in a 24 hr period

Morning, On his nap, and to sleep

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Thanks for sharing. My almost 2 year old is obsessed! Would love to wean. Would like to know your smooth pop recipe. I find beef liver hard to hide in things 😃

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I use a vanilla protein powder (just the one I enjoy), banana, half an avo, half teaspoon of foraged for you powder (includes beef liver and other great whole foods but they just brought out a kids version I haven’t tried yet)

Coconut milk

Then pour into little moulds !

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Love the recipe too!!!

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I use a vanilla protein powder (just the one I enjoy), banana, half an avo, half teaspoon of foraged for you powder (includes beef liver and other great whole foods but they just brought out a kids version I haven’t tried yet)

Coconut milk

Then into moulds ❤️

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My son is almost two (21 months, also never know how to say the age :D)

And we are on a similar journey, we have tried once so far and he cried and screamed two hours and it was just horrible... I gave in and gave him the boobies.. now it feels like he wakes up even more and is having boobie more often again :(

I have no idea how we will ever stop and i am not feeling in the best state to do so right now. Much love to you i feel you

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Yeah I know that overwhelm. I also genuinely didn’t think we could do it,

But man, kids are so much more capable that we give them credit for.

I can definitely tell that Rafi knows if I’m serious or not.

I probably would have gave in on my own... really needed to do it with tul and be on the same page.

So I think this time has only worked because I was 100% ready, willing and serious.

All other times I wasn’t quite there myself and Raf knew. So only do it when you get to that point of 100%

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Similarly to the concept that Juliet shared, I was shocked at how when I shifted in myself the dynamic just fell away. I felt DONE just before 2, and then felt guilty for being done, and then it was just one life circumstance after the next that didn’t feel like an appropriate time to put that stressor into his (or my) life. My boy was just so boob obsessed I kept on ruminating how difficult this would be for the both of us, how painful. Thinking even, the trauma I would be inflicting on him taking away this bond that was his nourishment and safety. Of course it’s not the bond that is being broken when we redefine boundaries in the relationship but it certainly felt like that for me. But for months I tried and failed and tried and struggled and then failed again. I wanted him to be the one that was done, I wanted to go to term thinking that’s what a good, natural, rewilding mama would do... but also really, really wanted my body to belong to me again. Feeling so over touched and over stimulated by little pining fingers.

Then I spoke to a friend on a Zoom call one night, our babes are just days apart in age. She “Awwww”ed when she saw my son nuzzle up for a feed in my lap and said that she’s so sad that she doesn’t get moments like that anymore. I was surprised and asked, “You stopped?!” She told me that it was just one day that she realized her daughter hadn’t fed in almost a week and realized she probably didn’t have any milk left. Something about this story stunned me, the fact that it was even possible to be so easy and simple. She was my expander, and I found myself asking myself “I wonder what it would look like if it really was that easy... I wonder what it would feel like... “ and did a little digging around what the end of our breast feeding journey would truly mean to me and for me.

And just like that, in a week he became so uninterested. A little nibble here and there but it was just like, the struggle dissipated on both ends. It felt honestly like magic.

That was almost a year ago now at 2y + 2mo and still to this day he uses my boobs as his comfort. He will wiggle his hands into my shirt as we snuggle to sleep and double cup each titty with a hand. When he’s hurt and crying his fingers find their way to my nipples to soothe himself. And since I’ve had his sister, he’s even half assed attempted to latch again, which I try to always be super nonchalant about so as to not shame him or create a stigma in his head but he just about always lasts only a couple seconds before laughing a mischievous giggle like, “look how silly I am”.

I’m in awe of you, because I look at my just about three year old now and cannot f*cking IMAGINE what it would be like to have him all up in my grill still. It takes a lot to breast feed but it also takes a lot to not. Getting to sleep in areas away from home doesn’t work anymore. Flights require a whole new toolkit. Pains and tantrums can no longer be quelled by a bouncing boobie. But you find your way, a new normal, some sweeter other times I really do miss those moments of stillness together. Though I can’t say I’ve ever regretted stopping when I did.

The path treads so differently for each unique mother/child relationship!

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