The village always included established mothers grounded in their ways of parenting, grandmothers with bestowed wisdom and all the time in the world to share it, maidens with energy and drive. Yes, to the diversity! Resonate so much - I have some incredible established mothers in my life, children now in high school or have left home. What perspective it brings x
Absolutely love this and so relate to that feeling of down-regulating the nervous system when with established mothers and elders. A sense of relief and a gentle letting go where I didn’t know I was holding on.
Although I had my first baby in early pandemic days when there was no physical village, I was fortunate to do an online new baby circle thing where the facilitator was a grandmother and the most nurturing, reassuring presence when my baby needed constant contact (something I hadn’t anticipated!). I also love the point you make about parenting scripts/skills we see on social media and although they obviously have very good intentions, they are sometimes just as prescriptive as the old school parenting books I threw out within weeks of having my baby! Thank you for this perspective shift xx
Ah yes indeed. I have such a new found respect and curiosity of those who are further along this journey. I have a substack-series coming up addressing this that I'm SO excited about. Taking longer than anticipated (I'm still being constantly reminded that time moves differently with children around) but will be out in a couple of weeks!
What a beautiful image and dream you create, Kat ❤️ thank you for your words, it’s hard for you to know the tangible impact but I know so many will be inspired by your vision, me included!
My only child is all grown up & marching to his own dreams now (both literally & metaphorically) & I am still grounding myself on the daily in my mothering.
It doesn’t end. It does change but that is actually the beautiful thing about being gifted the experience to mama in this life. The connections I have made have ebbed & flowed, moved, swayed & changed direction a gazillion times over the years & that is also okay.
I am most definitely grateful for my village, it is completely different to what I expected it to be & that is perhaps the most precious thing of all.
Thank you for your work in this space Kat. You are appreciated.
When I had my son, my sister’s children were all grown up. I loved having her experience to support me. She is always bemused by my googling of all things parenting related. I once asked her how did you parent without the internet. Her answer, “I just got on with it”. It made me stop and just enjoy my son instead of constantly checking google for the answers that are there between me and him all along.
Oh this one hits me ever so gently and ever so deeply. I don’t know yet what the ripple effects will be, but your words have seeped in and are taking roots deep down. Thank you for this transforming read.
Oh how I loved this. I just had my fourth son age ranges 10 years to 5 months. I remember watching mothers of big families and yearning for the way their hands were so competent and their minds were so zen and they were with me even as they were with everyone else. Reading this brought me to tears because for the first time I see that this is me now. For other moms. For the women with one or two little people who drop in. You’ve reminded me why they come—what they are watching, what they are learning, what they are longing for. It makes me feel so good. Thank you 🧡
Beautifully written and so relevant. As a mother I've been growing roots for 9 years and what I know for sure is that they tangle and squirm and run gnarled and ragged through the soil and not at all is it a clear shoveled out pathway as I may have believed before I had children.
Such a great part of the village topic to bring up, not just got the village helps us raise our kids, but how it helps raise us as mothers. I’ve been lucky enough to have a built in village in my children’s early years. I’m one of the youngest in a large family so by the time I became a mum I’d had 3 older siblings and a bunch of cousins way ahead of me in parenthood that I could learn from and I think it’s part of what has made me quite a relaxed parent, being able to see so many styles of parenting, what worked and what didn’t, before it was my turn.
I feel this deeply and loved reading this so much. Thank you 🙏 Having my first baby at 42, most of my friendships and family have older children and I’ve had to reach out for new friendships with new Mum’s. I also realise how much my 18month old prefers older kids to watch and learn from, so although it’s nice to share the trenches, its so nice to spend time with those that are through those times, even if they forget all the little details of the early years
I loved this, Kat. I suppose I have had a morphing village since my baby was born just over a year ago. I live in a very diverse part of London and when I was battling the idea that my daughter had to be 'put down' for naps, I started a council run baby massage course. There was a woman on her second child, one on her sixth, and the course was run by a wonderful West African teacher who talked me through baby wearing and what was common practice in her culture. It was the best experience and made me so much less anxious about 'ruining' my child. I'm not sure I would have acheived the same if I hadn't thrown my circle wider at that time.
The village always included established mothers grounded in their ways of parenting, grandmothers with bestowed wisdom and all the time in the world to share it, maidens with energy and drive. Yes, to the diversity! Resonate so much - I have some incredible established mothers in my life, children now in high school or have left home. What perspective it brings x
Thanks for this wisdom darling.. drinking it up xxx
Absolutely love this and so relate to that feeling of down-regulating the nervous system when with established mothers and elders. A sense of relief and a gentle letting go where I didn’t know I was holding on.
Although I had my first baby in early pandemic days when there was no physical village, I was fortunate to do an online new baby circle thing where the facilitator was a grandmother and the most nurturing, reassuring presence when my baby needed constant contact (something I hadn’t anticipated!). I also love the point you make about parenting scripts/skills we see on social media and although they obviously have very good intentions, they are sometimes just as prescriptive as the old school parenting books I threw out within weeks of having my baby! Thank you for this perspective shift xx
Ah yes indeed. I have such a new found respect and curiosity of those who are further along this journey. I have a substack-series coming up addressing this that I'm SO excited about. Taking longer than anticipated (I'm still being constantly reminded that time moves differently with children around) but will be out in a couple of weeks!
Tag me so I can come read!
What a beautiful image and dream you create, Kat ❤️ thank you for your words, it’s hard for you to know the tangible impact but I know so many will be inspired by your vision, me included!
Oh thank you for a beautiful comment Hannah 😍😍
This is so beautiful. Like arms reaching out. Thank you
YES YES YES
My only child is all grown up & marching to his own dreams now (both literally & metaphorically) & I am still grounding myself on the daily in my mothering.
It doesn’t end. It does change but that is actually the beautiful thing about being gifted the experience to mama in this life. The connections I have made have ebbed & flowed, moved, swayed & changed direction a gazillion times over the years & that is also okay.
I am most definitely grateful for my village, it is completely different to what I expected it to be & that is perhaps the most precious thing of all.
Thank you for your work in this space Kat. You are appreciated.
When I had my son, my sister’s children were all grown up. I loved having her experience to support me. She is always bemused by my googling of all things parenting related. I once asked her how did you parent without the internet. Her answer, “I just got on with it”. It made me stop and just enjoy my son instead of constantly checking google for the answers that are there between me and him all along.
Oh this one hits me ever so gently and ever so deeply. I don’t know yet what the ripple effects will be, but your words have seeped in and are taking roots deep down. Thank you for this transforming read.
Thank you for taking the time xxx and sharing the love
Ah just perfect Kat 👌
Oh how I loved this. I just had my fourth son age ranges 10 years to 5 months. I remember watching mothers of big families and yearning for the way their hands were so competent and their minds were so zen and they were with me even as they were with everyone else. Reading this brought me to tears because for the first time I see that this is me now. For other moms. For the women with one or two little people who drop in. You’ve reminded me why they come—what they are watching, what they are learning, what they are longing for. It makes me feel so good. Thank you 🧡
In awe of you mama! Thank you for saying all of this! And seeing yourself in the magnificence. X
Beautifully written and so relevant. As a mother I've been growing roots for 9 years and what I know for sure is that they tangle and squirm and run gnarled and ragged through the soil and not at all is it a clear shoveled out pathway as I may have believed before I had children.
Such a great part of the village topic to bring up, not just got the village helps us raise our kids, but how it helps raise us as mothers. I’ve been lucky enough to have a built in village in my children’s early years. I’m one of the youngest in a large family so by the time I became a mum I’d had 3 older siblings and a bunch of cousins way ahead of me in parenthood that I could learn from and I think it’s part of what has made me quite a relaxed parent, being able to see so many styles of parenting, what worked and what didn’t, before it was my turn.
I feel this deeply and loved reading this so much. Thank you 🙏 Having my first baby at 42, most of my friendships and family have older children and I’ve had to reach out for new friendships with new Mum’s. I also realise how much my 18month old prefers older kids to watch and learn from, so although it’s nice to share the trenches, its so nice to spend time with those that are through those times, even if they forget all the little details of the early years
Yes totally! Funny how our kids are drawn to where they can learn too!
I loved this, Kat. I suppose I have had a morphing village since my baby was born just over a year ago. I live in a very diverse part of London and when I was battling the idea that my daughter had to be 'put down' for naps, I started a council run baby massage course. There was a woman on her second child, one on her sixth, and the course was run by a wonderful West African teacher who talked me through baby wearing and what was common practice in her culture. It was the best experience and made me so much less anxious about 'ruining' my child. I'm not sure I would have acheived the same if I hadn't thrown my circle wider at that time.
Yes absolutley! Love that! I had Rafi on either myself or Tully every single nap until he was 11 months old! Can relate x